Step-by-Step... A Journey of Looking Back

I find it crazy how this amazing Journey with the Lord works. Sometimes I feel as though I am facing a red light or a stop sign and the pain in that awful time of waiting seems almost unbearable. I get impatient when the LORD does not answer me in my time. I try to fly through the yellow lights without yielding to what the LORD has for me. I do not heed His warnings to "slow down" and then I end up in a collision that pushes me down hard on my knees... the place where I am humble and realize my complete need for God in my life.

This Journey really is one of steps. I look back and I see that so clearly. Each step was made up of an act of obedience. Some steps were smaller than others, but just as necessary as the other ones. Some steps were harder than others and some grew my faith more than others. Some of the steps resulted in tears; some were tears of joy and others, tears of loss. Yet all of the steps required a heart of complete trust in my God and a fall to my knees in complete surrender. All of them led me straight into the arms of my Savior. And I am so thankful. I know that God is not a feeling, but when you do feel Him and His love for you even amidst the times of confusion... you realize your true worth. I am wrapped in the arms of the One who holds the world. He surely knows how to care for His own. And I am one of His own. Oh, how unworthy I am! Yet how grateful and how humbled to know that I am loved by the King...

Step by step by sometimes painstakingly slow step... Each step is for a purpose, each one perhaps for a reason that we do not understand. I understand that now. Looking back over the course of these years, I can see it. I can understand why the Lord led me in the ways that He did. I may not understand completely all of the reasons for everything, but I can see His faithfulness to me then and I rest in knowing that He is faithful always, that He will be faithful to me now.

And this, this is what I live for. This is WHO I live for. Sometimes I am just so blown away by this thought. I do not know exactly where in this life the Lord is leading me on this Journey... But I do know with a confident reassurance that the last step will leave me on the streets of gold, enjoying the presence of my Savior and my God all day, every day, for all of eternity. One step here on earth might be painful. It might be almost unbearingly hard. It may even seem impossible; it may BE impossible without God's supernatural strength and intervention. It may lead me to places that I never would have dreamed or imagined... And yet I know that at the end of it all, I will be able to fall at the feet of my God, and I will want to know that I lived this life doing all that I could for Him and for His Glory.

God has taken me to amazing, indescribable places in this Journey with Him. He has allowed me to meet the most precious, incredible people that anyone could ever have the pleasure of meeting. He has broken my heart in humility and humbleness through many circumstances... knowing that in order for Him to fulfill in my life what He knows is best, I must have a completely surrendered heart. Looking back and knowing all of this allows me to look forward to the future with a confidence that only comes from Christ.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6

May I never, ever, ever forget this truth. There are no winding roads with the Lord. There may be stop signs; there may be flashing yellow lights and "yield" signs; there may be intersections of temptation where I must decide to stay on the straight and narrow, without turning to the right or to the left. Yet I know that the path is straight for the one who trusts in the Lord and not in her own understanding, the one who acknowledges Him... I look back and I see this now. I may not understand every step, but I understand that they are all for a reason and that I can trust Him.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28

Yes, yes! I understand this now. I may not understand all of Him and all of His ways, but if I could He would not be a God worth following... He is too awesome and magnificent and incredible for mere human thought. I may not understand why certain things happen in my life and in the lives of ones that I love, but I understand that God loves me and that He is working together a far greater plan than anything I could come up with on my own.

And for this, I am forever grateful. To Him be the glory forever and ever and ever and ever...

Oh, the depth...

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 'Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?' 'Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen."
-Romans 11:33-36


view from the Citadel in Haiti

In "Voices of the True Woman Movement", Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares her experience of riding in a jeep through the Rocky Mountains with her friends in Colorado. The climb was long and even scary at times, as they came real close to the edge of the mountain. At points, they would get out of the jeep and hike the steep trails. After many curves and narrow trails, they finally - finally - made it to the top of the mountain. There, they looked out over the breathtaking view that surrounded them and were awestruck by the beauty of God. Their effort was rewarded.

Nancy compares this to the verses in Romans above and how Paul must have been feeling. Nancy says, "In the first eleven chapters of Romans, Paul lays out the basic doctrines of our faith - the sinfulness of man, the amazing grace of God, the salvation that is possible for us through Jesus Christ. Then, in the remainder of the book - chapters 12 through 16 - Paul makes practical application of everything he has written before... And the doxology of Romans 11:33-36 serves as a bridge between the two." It is as if Paul pauses to think about all that the Holy Spirit has written through him, and he is struck speechless. He breaks out into praise to God - "How unsearchable... Who has known the mind of the Lord?... To Him be the glory forever! Amen."

I can relate to this feeling - this feeling of being speechless before the magnificence of God. You cannot describe it. You cannot give it to others to feel. You cannot put into words the beauty and the majesty and the magnificence of God when you have experienced even just a glimpse of it. In Haiti, we had the opportunity to hike up to the Citadel - an old army fortress from the early 1800's, built on a mountain top to fend off the attack of the French that they thought was coming. This fortress, built nearly 3,000 feet above sea level, is situated on the highest point that I had ever climbed to. It was an exhausting hike, yet when we reached the top and looked out over the vastness of the beauty of God in Haiti, I stood speechless. All I can do is say, "Wow, God. You are awesome. To You be the honor and glory forever and ever! Amen."

So when Paul reaches this point, he is struck speechless. He cannot describe the depth of the riches of God's wisdom and knowledge. God's ways are too great for us, as mere humans, to understand. Our minds are too small to wrap around it. Our eyes are too blind for us to see it. The ways of our awesome, limitless, powerful God - "Oh, the depth"!

So, what does this have to do with true womanhood and learning more of what it means to be a true woman of God? It all begins with, "Oh, the depth..."

We can go to the bottom of the deepest part of the depths of the ocean (the Marianas Trench, a chasm in the Pacific near the island of Guam), yet then we stop. We can dig our way through the deepest mine filled with gold (located near Johannesburg, South Africa, extending two full miles into the earth), but eventually the riches will end. We can go through life living on our own strength, but eventually it will be exhausted.

God's ways are not like that. His wisdom and His knowledge (Romans 11:33), His kindness and forbearance and patience (Romans 2:4), His glory (Romans 9:23), His mercy (Ephesians 2:4), His grace (Ephesians 1:7-8) - Oh, the depth of His riches!

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!"

This means that God knows everything and everything about everything. God knows about every difficult situation that we face, every family issue, every need, every challenge, every sin, every fear, every insecurity, everything about our past, present, and future and everything that we think we have hidden away in the depths of our hearts. God knows it all. We can see that as reason to shrink away from the Lord, or we can draw nearer to Him and allow Him to shine His light on the depths of our hearts and prune away our sin issues so that He can transform us - that we may live righteous lives before the Lord and please Him in everything we say and do.

God's ways are unfathomable, unknowable, unsearchable, and unable to understand. They are just too great. What does this have to do with becoming a true woman of God?

Nancy lists three reasons:

1) A true woman lives a God-centered life.

We live in a self-centered world. Yet a true woman of God lives a God-centered life even amidst all of the selfishness around her. She realizes that compared to the vastness and the magnificence of God that causes us to become speechless and our hearts to skip a beat, her problems and challenges are tiny. Standing at the top of the mountain in Haiti, my biggest challenge and hardship would be as small as the smallest ant on the ground - as I am standing nearly 3,000 feet above sea level. Looking out at the vastness of His creation and of the beauty of His awesome Hand, my problems no longer seem so huge. In light of the magnificent and powerful God that I serve, my problems are nothing. He does, after all, hold the whole world in His hands. A true woman of God is enthralled with Jesus Christ, her Lord and her Savior. Her life revolves around Him and only Him. Her life is centered around her Savior and her Lord.

2) A true woman trusts God.

Our world is filled with bad news and troubling times. Every corner we turn seems to be filled with some sort of tragedy, especially when the news of the world is blaring in our ears. We are a fearful people. Yet a true woman of God is not filled with fear. She simply trusts. She trusts the One who made her, the One who knows her heart more than anyone has the capacity to understand it, the One who created the universe, the One who holds the whole world in His hands. She trusts in the One who has control. She "can laugh at the days to come" (Proverbs 31:25) because she has nothing to fear. Her laughs are light-hearted and her smiles are genuine. Her life revolves around the One who holds the whole world in His hands and she knows that He is in control. His plans are good - for her life, for her distinct situations, for her troubling times, for her challenges, for her tragedies. He is in control. Nancy says, "And though many of us would never dare to speak such words aloud or even consciously think them, many of us are practicing athiests at times, living as if there's no God, or at least wondering if He has really messed things up this time." A true woman of God can give over her control, because she realizes that she really has no control at all - not over her next breath and not over the world around her. Nancy also says, "The true woman who trusts God doesn't have to strive. She doesn't have to be afraid. She can relinquish control. She doesn't have to manipulate and control the whole wide world (as if we could). She doesn't resent, or resist, or run from the cross. She embraces the cross with faith." A true woman of God realizes the depths of His riches... and she knows that she can trust Him.

3) A true woman says, "Yes, Lord."

A true woman of God pursues His passions for her life. She pursues the path that He has so strategically and perfectly set before her. She does not resent it; she pursues it with all her passion and all her energy. She may not understand it, but she follows anyway. Her faith is not a blind faith, but a faith that trusts in One she cannot see - because she sees His hand in her life and acknowledges it. She knows she does not have to understand. She does not have to analyze or question or try to figure out the depths of the Lord and of His Plan. She just follows Him joyfully and without hesitation. She never asks the question, "What will make me happy?" Always, she asks, "What will please You, Lord?" A true woman of God lives an intentional life, pursuing the Lord and obeying Him with all of her heart and soul. With every area of her life, she surrenders - "Yes, Lord" is the cry of the true woman's heart.

We may feel as though we are climbing the highest mountain in the world and we cannot yet see the peak of it. We question. We wonder. We cry out in exhaustion and pain as the last of our strength gives way. This - this is when we hit rock bottom and we must allow the Lord to pick us up and lift us up. For "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

"In every situation and circumstance of your life, God is always doing a thousand different things that you cannot see and you do not know."
-John Piper

We must continue on by the grace and strength of God. One day, we will reach the top. We will look out over the vastness of the beauty of the awesome hand of God and we will look back on the path that we have taken and we will stand in awe, speechless at the sight of the providential and perfect hand of God in our lives. The depths of His riches are too great for our feeble minds to understand. Yet may our hearts cry out, "Oh, Lord, how great Thou art!" He knows what He is doing and He knows exactly how His perfect plan is going to unfold in your life and in mine.

Until then and for all those times when we feel so very far away from the summit - from the peak of the view of the splendor and vastness of the beauty of the awesome hand of God - may we remember...

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 'Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?'"
-Romans 11:33-34

The Ultimate Meaning...

...Of True Womanhood

In Nancy Leigh DeMoss's book, "Voices of the True Woman Movement", John Piper states his assumption that "wimpy theology makes wimpy women". What is a wimpy woman? John Piper goes on to say that "the opposite of a wimpy woman is not a brash, pushy, loud, controlling, sassy, uppity, arrogant" woman. The opposite of a wimpy woman is a woman who knows her Savior and stands for Him against all tides of the world. A woman who is not a wimpy woman is a woman who believes in Jesus Christ's saving grace and trusts Him with all of her heart... and, as a result, knows that there is a reason for every situation in her life - no matter how difficult - because she can trust her Savior.

"Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ." -John Piper

Wimply theology is placing the Almighty God in a box - not believing in His infinite power, His wisdom, or His greatness... or in His ultimate purpose for the world.

"God's ultimate purpose for the universe and for all of history and for your life is to display the glory of Christ in its highest expression, namely, in His dying to make a rebellious people His everlasting and supremely happy bride." -John Piper

Revelation 13:8 talks of, "...the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world."

So, before the foundation of the world it was the plan of God for Christ to be slain... so that we, as rebels of God, would become His Bride... and His glory would shine brightly.

So what does this have to do with womanhood? I am a woman and that was no mistake or incidental matter. God created me as a woman for a distinct purpose and unless I understand this I will never carry out God's purpose for me as a woman. Womanhood and manhood and their distinct differences were not an afterthought in the mind of God. Ephesians 5:31 and 32 says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church."

Ever since the creation of human beings, God created us as man and woman - male and female. These distinct areas - manhood and womanhood - are designed to bring glory to Christ. It is like a mirror, although dim, of Christ and the Church (His Bride). This is what marriage is all about. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24)

This is not a slave relationship. True marriage is a dim reflection of Christ and His Bride, the Church. We as women should never look at our role as women as being degrading. We were created as women for a purpose and when we find out what true womanhood really is, we will come to appreciate this role and have a desire to joyfully carry it out to bring Jesus Christ glory.

As a single woman, I cannot magnify Christ in this same way (as married women can). Yet, there are ways in which single women can magnify Christ that married women cannot. John Piper lists three:

1) A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ.

As a single woman, I can care for the lonely and the needy and spend myself for the Gospel in a different way than I would be able to if I was married and had my own biological children to care for... because Christ has met my need, I have no reason to wallow in self-pity in my singleness.

2) A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families.

Again, I can more fully give myself to creating the family of God because I do not have my own biological children to give myself to and expend my energy on. In this way, I can honor Christ in a unique way.

3) A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church.

If I embrace my single womanhood and am joyfully content with just walking with Christ, I will be a great witness to the world of God as my Husband... and me, as His Bride.

John Piper closes the chapter with, "So whether you marry or single, do not settle for a wimpy theology. It is beneath you. God is too great. Christ is too glorious. True womanhood is too strategic. Don't waste it. Your womanhood - your true womanhood - was made for the glory of Jesus Christ."

Created by the Lord as women for a divine purpose, we cannot settle for anything less. We were created as women for the glory of Christ. If we were all the same, we would never be able to reflect the great picture of God as the Husband and us - the Church - as His Bride. We would never be able to bring glory to Christ in this way or have it bear witness to a watching world. I am a woman for a distinct purpose... and whether I marry or remain single, this life is all about bringing glory to the Lord Jesus Christ and what He has done for me on the Cross... He has bought me at a price and I am not my own. The Church - His rebel Bride - was bought at a high price, with the precious blood of Jesus.

We cannot take this lightly. May I live out the calling of true womanhood that the Lord has purposed for me.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

My Big Dream...?

While in Haiti, the Lord spoke to my heart in many ways. One day, He taught me something through a Haitian boy around my age who approached me the last day of Vacation Bible School. He told me about how his little brother had been going to Bible School and then went on to tell me of his Big Dream to one day go through seminary and become a pastor. He did not know how his Big Dream would come true because he does not have the money to make it happen... And yet this Big Dream was cultivated in his heart. The way he told me, "You see, I have a Big Dream to one day be a pastor" was with such conviction and passion that I knew he meant it. I knew that this Dream was rooted in his heart. I know that one day, with God's Provision, he would love to see this Dream through.

I was excited for him. I told him that his Dream was a great one... And then, he asked me a question that jolted me to the core. It is a question that has rocked my world. He asked me, simply and naturally, "So, what is your Big Dream?"

Looking back, I am not quite sure what I did at the moment he asked me that question. I am not sure what my face reflected when he asked me that and, although I cannot remember, I would not be surprised if I had asked him to repeat what he had just said. Although I have thought a lot about this question before, no one had really ever asked me it pointedly and on-the-spot like that. I had no time to think about what I should say because I certainly had not planned to answer a question like this at Vacation Bible School.

I searched my mind for something to say and I stuttered a reply, "I am not sure yet."

He looked at me with the most surprised expression and said, "You do not know?"

I was standing there sweating in the little white church building, with Haitian children swarming all around me, yelling and talking and singing and running - with our only light being the light from the bright Haitian sun streaming through the open windows and doors of the concrete building. I looked around me at the children, I looked above me on the small podium at my dad and my brother and the others on my Team and I reflected on the day of teaching the children of Jesus Christ being our only sure Foundation... all while I felt the sweet warmth of the little baby who had fallen asleep in my arms... and I looked back at this sincere Haitian boy and I said the first words that came to my mind and tumbled out of my mouth: "Something like this."

Although I do not yet know for sure what exactly it is that the Lord wants for my future (and the Lord has placed many dreams deep in this heart of mine), I sit here and wonder if that boy is praying for me - because the Lord has been showing me a few things about what His Big Dream may be for me. That boy did ask for my name and I know that the Lord is not limited by miles or by culture and I know that prayer is something that can unify us all... It brings an excitement to my heart to think of the people I have met in Haiti who have what they call their "Big Dream" to do great things for God.

And yet, they have no resources. They have no money, no savings, no retirement fund. Retirement is not even an option in the minds of these particular Haitians. All they want to do is serve their God with their lives, no matter how hard, no matter what little they have... They do not even know where their next meal is coming from, let alone the money they may need to pursue what it is the Lord has placed on their heart. They just trust the Lord... because if the Lord asks them to do something for His Kingdom, then He must provide.

What about me? It brings me back to the question that the Haitian boy asked me: "What is your Big Dream?" I echo Dr. Jerry Falwell: What would I attempt to do if I knew I could not fail?

If nothing stood in my way - such as a lack of finances, people and their negativity, discouragement from the Enemy, and all other obstacles - what would I do with my life for the Lord and for His Kingdom?

The truth is, nothing stands in my way but my own self - because if the Lord asks me to do something for Him, then there must be a way to do it. I may not see it, but I see the Hand of the One who asks me and I know that I can trust Him. That makes all the difference and that means everything.

The boy and his little brother

So, what is your "Big Dream"? What comes to your mind right away when that question is asked? It is something we must think hard about. We must never be afraid to Dream for His Kingdom... Big things will never happen if we put the Almighty God in a box.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
-Ephesians 3:20-21

Voices

Many of you may have heard of Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Revive Our Hearts or maybe the True Woman Movement. I was one of many who asked for a copy of her book, "Voices of the True Woman Movement" so that I could write about it on my blog. As a young woman seeking to be the woman that the Lord asks me to be, I believe that a huge part of my Journey is learning about what it really means to be a woman of God. These posts are going to be a result of what I learn from the book... but more than that, of my seeking the Lord on who He asks me to be as a woman of the Lord. So, if you are a woman... please read, follow along, and post your comments!

Before I begin, I want to make it clear that when I talk of "the voice of God" I am not talking of an audible voice that tells us which way to turn or what option we should choose in a decision. I am talking of the inner convictions of the Holy Spirit. When we are transformed by Christ, so are our mind and our thoughts... our inner convictions. Everything that we need to know was already written down for us in God's Word. God reveals to us through His Word what is right... and also, what it means to be a woman of the Lord.

Introduction to "Voices of the True Woman Movement"

Many things call out for our attention as women. They tell us how to be beautiful, how to be satisfied, how to be fulfilled, how to live a wonderful life of beauty and wonder. They tell us we are "strong and beautiful", that we deserve to indulge ourselves in selfish pleasures once in a while, and frankly, that "Life is all about YOU!" These voices lead us to a dead-end. They leave us there lost, confused, and more unfulfilled than where we began.

And yet there is a voice calling out among these other voices. A voice that is so often gone unheard. A voice that is so often overlooked. A voice that is so often drowned out by the thousands of other seductive voices calling out for our attention every day. It is the Voice of Truth. His voice is not seductive. His voice is not selfish. His voice is not filled with lies that will lead us to a dead end and leave us there lost, confused, and more unfulfilled than where we began.

"The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic."
-Psalm 29:4

It is the voice of the LORD who tells us how we are to live as true women of God. He leads us in a life of selflessness, of finding true fulfillment in Him (the only place where true fulfillment exists), and in a life that reflects the beauty of the Lord Himself.

In the words of Elisabeth Elliot, "In order to learn what it means to be a woman, we must start with the One who made her."

What kinds of things call out for your attention in everyday life that distract you from hearing His voice? How can you instead drown out the thousands of other voices so that you will hear His voice, the only voice that is true?

A Breaking Heart

So, I had told you all that I would be writing updates on here about the trip to Haiti. The only times we were able to connect to the internet down there was to write home to let our families know that we were safe and okay. That is why I was not able to update you all while we were in Haiti.

Even as I am back in America, I have put off writing to you all. Before leaving Haiti, I was scared to come back to America. I knew the culture shock that had rocked my world last year when I returned back to the States from being among poverty... and I knew it would shake me again. Being in Haiti, I felt so far away ~ so far away from the "things" of America that suffocate my heart, from the extravagant richness of the American culture that sometimes just simply pains my soul. The deep poverty of Haiti caused me to feel so very far away from America. I breathe in the dust-filled, dirty air of the streets of Haiti and I breathe deeply... and I breathe freedom. It is something that is hard to explain, but it is a freedom that my heart now knows.

It is deeply painful to go to a third-world country. God took me out of the extravagance of America to show me a very poor country and I believe part of the reason for His doing so was to break my heart a little more for the things that break His heart. That was my prayer and I prayed it almost fearfully, knowing that the Lord answers the prayers of a sincere heart... and my prayer was sincere. Yes, my Father answered the prayers of His daughter's aching heart.

It has been painful... heart-wrenching at times. It is painful to see an old lady sitting alongside the busy streets of Haiti, frail and so thin it looks as if she hasn't eaten in weeks... and the reality that she probably hasn't. Or when I see the protruding stomachs of some of the children because they are so malnourished. Or when I see a baby taking a bath in a tub filled with dirty water, as another baby sits naked on the dirt next to him. Or when I meet people who are so content and so joyfully obedient to the Lord and then later realize that these very people are hungry... Reality hits hard. And it puts me to shame.

This, this is how the majority of the world lives. The extravagance of America is not the majority. How I ever got so blessed as to have a sturdy roof over my head, a car of my own, food always in my refrigerator, a variety of clothes to choose from, more than one pair of shoes for my feet, and a job that provides more than I need... I do not quite understand. Yet I said it in Haiti and I say it again ~ I do not want to just go away from this experience with the simple understanding that I am so very blessed. I cannot just come back to America, sit back and sigh with relief as all of my blessings sit around me and say, "Yes, thank You God." No. No, that is wrong. To come back with just that would be selfishness. My Father says, "'Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite Me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe Me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after Me...I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me.'" (Matthew 25:41-43, 45)

At Vacation Bible School, I taught the children about Christ being their only sure Foundation. I was sharing about how God gave everything to us and He wants us to give everything to Him... and I could not share the next line of what I had planned to say. "Everything that we have was given to us by God." Yes, it is true... But I could not say it. It just did not seem right for me to say to these children... because I have more than I need. These children have next to nothing. How could I stand before them and teach them that God wants them to give over everything, when they have next to nothing? How could I stand before them, "rich" compared to them, and tell them that everything that they have was given to them by God? How could I teach them these things when they were the ones who should be teaching me?

And they did teach me. They taught me so much about life and what really matters. These people have next to nothing... some have nothing at all. And yet some of these people are the ones who are stepping up in the churches to lead the people in Christ. These are the ones who have big Dreams to accomplish much for the Kingdom of God, not knowing how the Lord is going to provide but knowing that He is.

It is startling to think that these "things" that I have are actually sometimes a hindrance to my walk with the Lord and accomplishing what He has asked of me. The chilling thought has occurred to me that perhaps the only things I should really have are those things which are resources for furthering God's Kingdom. All other things are only extravagances that can suffocate my heart and cause me to lose focus of the Purpose the Lord has set out for me. If the sole Purpose of my life is to serve the Lord, then I have need for nothing else than what the Lord provides to accomplish His purposes and further His Kingdom.

It is a lot to process. I am responsible for the things that I have seen and felt and experienced and I cannot take that lightly. I do not take that lightly. This passion in my soul is firing up once again. It is hard. I think God gave me more of a glimpse of what it is like for full-time missionaries overseas... the challenges, the heartaches, the exhaustion, the discouragements, the pain, and the joy of knowing that I was exactly where the Lord wanted me to be in that moment.

And that is exactly where I want to stay, all the days of my life. Right where the Lord wants me, wherever that may be. Father, help me with this. I need You to help me with this. Your strength is what sustains me. I have come to the conclusion that You truly are all that I need... sadly, not always all that I desire, but always all that I need. I thank You for that... and I thank You for breaking my heart for the things that break Your heart a little more.

For God so loved the world...

"Jesus, remember me when you come into Your kingdom." (Luke 23:42)

These words were spoken by a criminal... One of the criminals hanging beside Jesus on the Cross. Jesus' response to this criminal was not just relevant to the criminal, but to all of us.


"Jesus answered him, 'I tell you the truth, today you will be with Me in paradise.'" (John 23:43)



Jesus did not ask the criminal, "What criminal offenses have you committed?"

No, Jesus has beautiful eyes of love. He did not come to condemn the world, but to save the world (John 3:17). One of the last things He did before He died was save a criminal.

There is a beautiful, beautiful hope there for you and for me. It is a hope that screams against our thoughts of, "God could never save me out of this sin". It is a hope that pushes against our low expectations of who God is and just what He can do.

It is a hope that is for you, for me, for all of us.

I hear this hope scream out, "Nooo!" when we turn away from our Savior because we think that He could never save us from the wrong that we have done.

If we were to believe that Jesus could not save us from our sins, then we underestimate the power of Christ and His sacrifice for us on the Cross. Jesus came to save the world. He came to save you and He came to save me. It does not matter what wrong we have done. It does not matter how far we have walked in the opposite direction. It does not matter because Jesus came to save the world. He did not come to condemn us, but to save us.

That truth offers me hope that is found nowhere else. That truth offers me forgiveness and a clean start. That truth is found in Jesus Christ, and in Jesus Christ alone.

And tonight, I am rejoicing in that truth.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

When we wonder if God could possibly forgive us for our sins, we must look to the Cross... to the criminal and to the One who died there to save that criminal and to save you and to save me.

Tonight, I am thankful for this criminal's story... The one who Jesus saved on the Cross. As they were both dying physically, Jesus promised the criminal eternal life in Heaven, in His Kingdom, in paradise that very day. And He offers it to each and every one of us... We are all criminals who have sinned against God and His perfect Law. That is why I am thankful for that criminal's story. I am thankful for my God. I am thankful Jesus saved the criminal and I am thankful that Jesus saved me.

Tonight, I am rejoicing in Him and in His truth and in His promises.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son."
-John 3:17-18

And all because "For God so loved the world" ~ and He so loves you and me.