Just Do It

"If God puts something on your heart, do it."

Those are the words of a man that I met in Bolivia this past summer and they continue to speak to my heart just as they did when I heard him say them. This was a man who grew up as a "shoeshine boy" in the streets of La Paz, Bolivia. He shined the shoes of whoever would ask for his services so that he would have money to live. These shoeshine boys have a bad reputation and are constantly being looked down upon because of their status in society. Many of the boys are orphans or are left with only one parent. This man, however, found the Lord and began working with a church. Today, he has a ministry to the shoeshine boys in the city and is living his life in full-time ministy for his King and the Kingdom. When being asked what could be done to help his ministry, he simply said, "Your prayers. We need more workers." And then he said those words that captured my heart in such a way that tears sprang to my eyes, "If God puts something on your heart, do it."


I sing the popular Christian worship song by Chris Tomlin, "Follow": "Where You go, I'll go. Where You stay, I'll stay. When You move, I'll move. I will follow You." Do I really mean that? Or am I just singing the lyrics as empty words, offering an empty heart of worship up to my King? It is foolishness to make a promise to the Lord and then to not follow through with it. It is foolishness to sing worship to the Lord as words without meaning, from a heart that is not in communion with the One it is worshipping.

I look back on just six weeks ago, when I sat and told my dad that I did not want to go to Moody Bible Institute. I just did not think that I could do it because everything in me wanted to turn back. My dad looked me in the eyes and said, "Molly, you know you don't have to stay." I appreciate him telling me that because he wanted me to know that no one was pressuring me to go. And a small part of me thought, "That's right, I can still turn back." And yet, a bigger part of me knew that I had to go. I had to. To turn back would be to go against everything that the Lord had shown me, all of the things that He had provided for me, and on the Call to ministry that I knew He had placed on my life. I knew that this was where the rubber meets the road; this is where I had to make the defining decision. I remember visiting back in February, knowing with everything in me that God wanted me here. As we drove out of the city, Chris Tomlin's popular song "Follow" came on the radio. My heart echoed the words; I knew that I had to follow the Lord to where He was leading. It was so evident to me that He was leading me in a particular direction. There was a peace that literally passed my understanding because this was unlike any decision I had ever made before. This was a decision that I would have never made on my own will or choice.

And so here I am, sitting in a dorm room at Moody Bible Institute. How the Lord led me from signing the line on the acceptance letter saying that I would NOT be going to Moody Bible Institute, to erasing it and instead sending in my deposit, to sitting here at Moody is so surreal to me. I do not quite understand how this is a reality because this is unlike anything I would have ever chosen for myself. And that is why I point it all back to the Lord. He is leading. He has set the path before me and I must simply follow. And yet it is not simple. It is hard. It is so terribly hard and my heart within me sometimes pushes against it with everything. His Grace is the only reason that I am sitting here today. I am so encouraged, so amazed, so overwhelmed by the Grace of God in my life; by His provision; by His guidance; by His patience with me and His love towards me. He does not show me a step ahead of the next one; He is always showing me just one step at a time. And so it makes sense that I must take one step at a time. There is no need for me to worry about the future. There is no need for me to stress out about trying to figure out the Plans that He has for me... because He holds my future.

"If God puts something on your heart, do it." Just do it.

I don't have plans. I have already found out the hard way that I cannot make any plans apart from the Will of God. His plans are so much higher than my own. I do have dreams. I do have desires. And these I want to place at the foot of His Cross, where in surrender I hand them over... because I desire for HIM to reign in my life. I desire for HIM to lead me... to lead me to His heart, to His Plans, to His life. There is no other reason to live. I desire for Him to be my single focus, for my heart to be an undivided heart, to glorify Him and to live for Him only. Yes, it is hard. There are so many challenges along the way. And yet this life is meant to glorify the King. There is great joy in living for the One who created us for His Glory.

And so I say with Paul, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).

An Inexcusable Heartache

I want to change the world.

No, I am not disillusioned. No, I am not prideful in making that statement. No, I am not being unrealistic when I state that this world needs the love of Jesus Christ to change it... and I want to be one of the ones who brings it to them.

I am restless. A "holy dissatisfaction", some call it. I simply call it a heartache... because my heart aches. How can it be that 143 million children have no mother or father and no one who holds them in their arms and tells them that they are loved? How can it be that three billion people on the face of this same planet that I stand on right now have never heard even the NAME of Jesus before?

How can it be that millions proclaim to be Christians and how can it be that the majority of them live in this blessed country that we live in, with all the resources we could ever ask for, and yet the facts listed above still stand?

If every Christian man and woman, boy and girl, were obedient to the call of Christ on their lives - whatever that may be or in whatever form that may be in - I do believe that there would not be 143 million orphans. I do believe that there would not be three billion people who have never heard the Name of Jesus before.

Why do I believe that?

Because Jesus has sent us out.

He has sent us out.

I can have an excuse and I can deny what I just stated above if I were ignorant to the truths in the Bible. However, I am now held responsible because I have read such verses as these:

"The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves."
-Luke 10:2-3

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted from the world."
-James 1:27

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me."
-Luke 9:23

"To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps."
-1 Peter 2:21

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
-Matthew 28:19-20

I am responsible now. I now have no excuse. I have held the hands of orphans; I have seen skinny, malnourished women sitting on the side of the streets because they have not eaten in weeks; I have watched as babies bathe in buckets of muddy water because they have no clean water to bathe in; I have held a baby in my arms who I am not sure today if she is still nourished or even alive; I have sang songs of praise to God with 200 children who go to sleep at night with empty stomachs, without a bed or a pillow... and they are some of the most joyful children I have ever met; I have cried tears of brokenness over leaving behind countries that the Lord has taken me to, to fall in love with and share His love with... I have hugged children "see you later" with tears welling up in my eyes and my heart breaking inside of me... And I do not want any of this to have been in vain.

No, I am now held responsible because I have held them in my own arms, I have seen them with my own eyes, I have smelled the trash and the garbage along the streets, I have heard the wailing of children who are hungry, I have wept over all that is yet to be done and what little is now being done.

It is an agony - a pure tragedy - that we in America are so blessed by God and yet we are doing so little to reach out to those in the world who He has called us to love, who He has called us to share Him with.

And, of course, I am not exempt from this. I am one of them and yet the greatest tragedy of all is that I am held more responsible than any American who has never seen what I have seen or who has never read the verses in God's infallible Word that I have read.

And I do not want to just stand by my whole life in inexcusable ignorance that will end in shame when I stand before my Savior. I do not want that. And yet the selfishness of this nation, the selfishness of Christians, and most of all the selfishness of ME.... can steal my heart away from all of His purposes into a life of self-centeredness based on decisions of what I want, of what I think I need, of what will make me feel good...

NO! That is a tragedy.

He and His Kingdom purposes are all that matter in this life. I am sure of it. I am absolutely sure of it because nothing in all the world can satisfy like the love of Jesus Christ... and it must be shared with those who have never heard of it. It must be shared.

It MUST be shared.

I have a heartache... and the hardest part of all is that I have no excuse.

Knocking Down that Brick Wall...

I am so... sad. I don't know that I am ready to become the person that the Lord is asking me to become. Sometimes I am excited. Other times, like tonight, I am apprehensive... torn... doubtful... I recognize each feeling as an attack of the Enemy because feelings cannot be trusted. And I do not trust them. I am just expressing how I feel because I am very broken...

*Why would You send me so many hours away from my family, my best friends, and all that I know and love?

*Why would You ask me to go to a Bible Institute where every student is trained for ministry?

*Why would You send me alone?

I am scared. I am terrified! I am already broken over the ones I love so much whom the Lord is asking me to leave. Why? I don't understand why. What is the reason? I don't even know that.

All I know is that He is asking me to "Go" and I must Go.

All I know is that He promises that He will always be with me, that He will never leave me.

That is all I know. That is all I need to know.

It is just hard. So very, very hard. I would be inhuman if I thought it was easy... Because it is not. I do believe it is the hardest thing He's asked me to do so far in life.

It scares me to think about what this could be preparing me for... as my first mission trip to Chuuk, which I thought was so impossible, has prepared me in so many ways for leaving home to go to a Bible college far away.

Every step is a step closer. I only have one Light, and it is the Word which is a lamp unto my feet. Only as I take a step can I see any farther ahead. I must continue on in faith.


I must break down the brick wall that seems to tower over me. It is a high, thick, and wide brick wall that looms before me. It is the wall that stands between me and the destiny that God has set before me. This is where rubber meets the road. This is where I make the decision of whether I am going to go the hard way and knock down that rough brick wall, as painful as it will be... Or whether I am going to turn around and walk away from that wall, ever wondering what is beyond it... ever regretting that I turned away.

No. NO. I cannot turn away. I resolve not to turn away. I recognize the doubts, the fears, the anxieties, the bitterness, the resentment all as attacks of the Enemy on my very life... for I know that he comes to steal and kill and destroy my life and all of the blessings that the Lord intends to bestow upon it.

This life is Yours, Father... to have and to hold, to use and to mold... Forever Yours.

The Call

"Michael and Gabriel were puzzled.

'Why doesn't He let us do it?' Michael asked.

They were sitting in a quiet corner of Heaven, chatting together as they watched what was happening on the small but beautiful blue and green planet called Earth.

'I know, we could do a far better job.' Gabriel sighed. 'Those human creatures He depends on so much are really quite useless. I know He loves them but they're so disobedient. Just take, for example, that little place in Africa - Burkina Faso. I don't know how many times He spoke in someone's ear about it and none of them took any notice. They sometimes seem to be too afraid to do His will. We, on the other hand, are too afraid not to do His will and we would have started to obey even while He was still speaking!'

'And it would have been such a privilege. You know, I think He made a mistake when He gave them choice and free will. If I had been creating creatures to serve me, I would have made them obey me!'

'It would certainly have got the job done more efficiently. But you know,' Gabriel went on, and his voice took on a rather wistful quality, 'I think I can understand why He did it. Have you ever seen His smile when one of those stubborn creatures does obey Him, out of love and with no compulsion?'

Michael nodded slowly, 'Yes, I've been in the Presence when that happens - it lights up Heaven. But it's just so frustrating watching them make such a mess of it all, knowing that we could do better. Even the obedient ones - they're so slow and weak and they're not very well equipped for the task. They can't fly in an instant from one place to another. It takes them ages getting anywhere in those little steel structures.'

'And it takes them even longer learning a new language,' Gabriel added. 'At least people hear us in their own language when we speak to them. All this language learning adds years on to the job. It can be hard watching them struggle with it - funny, sometimes too!'

'Of course, to be fair, we must remember that some of them have the right idea - it just takes so long.'

Gabriel smiled, 'I know what you mean. Men like Stanley and Jeremy have the vision, they can see what needs to be done..........'

'Stanley and Jeremy........ we got all excited up here about their plans. Now if only He had let us carry out those plans. You know that map of villages that Jeremy wants to evangelise? You and I could have taken a legion or two of angels and appeared to everyone in those villages to tell them the Good News. It would have been so easy, too - job done in a couple of hours.'

'The only problem with that,' Gabriel reminded Michael, 'is that we frighten those human creatures so easily. They're just not used to shining presences from Heaven speaking to them.'

Michael laughed, 'Yes, we are rather impressive, aren't we?'

Gabriel turned to him with a serious expression,
'You know I'm not sure we'll ever really understand His reasons for spreading the Gospel this way. You and I and the legions of mighty angels may be impressive and much more beautiful than the human creatures He created, but He seems to have a very special place in His heart for them. Maybe we could do a better job and do it more quickly and efficiently but He has chosen to do it through them. Somehow, seeing them serve Him, however ineffectively, brings more pleasure to Him than we ever could in an eternity of faultless service.'

'He loves them with such passion, doesn't He? It must be wonderful to be loved by Him like that......' Michael gazed down at the little planet, turning in space on its axis, and looked as though he wished that he could be one of those human creatures so beloved by Heaven's King.

'Do you think they know?' Gabriel wondered. 'Do you think they have any idea of the depth of His love?'

'They would if they could hear Him singing,' Michael smiled. 'What an amazing sound that is - when the God of Heaven rejoices over His children with singing. The hosts of heavenly choristers might sing well but even they listen with awe when the King sings...'"
-Epilogue "Angel Talk" from the book "A Place Prepared" by Gloria Kearney

I understand that this is not a true conversation between the angels in Heaven. However, I was encouraged... overwhelmed... by the message of this story. You will understand more about Stanley and Jeremy and Burkina Faso and the vision that the Lord placed on those two men's hearts if you read the book in its entirety. However, this epilogue is enough to bring across a very clear point: God loves you.

God wants to use you for His Kingdom service.

If we knew how much God loves us... if we would truly listen to His voice.... if we would obey Him because we love Him so much and we understood the honor of the task at hand... our world would be a different place. And not just OUR world - what we know and see and feel - but the whole world.

"For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With His love, He will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."
-Zephaniah 3:17

Do we really understand that? Do we really KNOW that... in our hearts? The King of Heaven delights in us with gladness... He will calm all our fears... He REJOICES over us with joyful songs!

"'While you were doing all these things,' declares the LORD, 'I spoke to you again and again, but you did not listen; I called you, but you did not answer.'"
-Jeremiah 7:13

Let that not be us, as His followers... as His beloved Bride. No matter where we are in life, "let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." (Hebrews 12:1-2)

What is He asking of you? What is He calling out to you? You do not want to miss this. We cannot afford to miss this. He is yearning for us to come into a love relationship with Him, to obey Him with everything that we have, to live our lives in total and complete surrender to Him...

Let us not be the ones who do not listen when He speaks to us. Let us not be the ones who do not answer when He calls us. Let us answer the Call...

Close to Heart

The Lord has blessed me in amazing and abundant ways. This Journey has been extraordinary.

Seven months ago I stepped onto an airplane that took me to a place beyond words. Seven months ago. Even as I write this, I cannot believe that it has been so long. And yet, it has been an eternity. No, it was just yesterday. I cannot quite wrap my mind around how long I feel that it has been, because it is in my heart every single day. All that I know is that the calendar tells me that it has been seven months. Seven months ago a small airplane took me over the ocean to a country that has been and forever will be in my heart. Seven months ago I stepped off of that same, small airplane onto unfamiliar soil. And yet my heart still leaps every time that I think of it.

Every time that someone speaks the name of the country, "Haiti", I feel as though a piece of it is mine... as I have left a piece of my heart with the people there and have replaced it with a piece of them and their country. This single heart holds the memories, the smells, the sights, the sounds, the air, the voices, the languages, and the dear people of places once far away.

Today at church I was given the challenge to draw near to God, for it is then that He draws near to me. Oh, it brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart! To know that the Savior, the Creator of ALL the universe, the KING of kings, the LORD of lords, the great GOD wants me to draw near to Him is just too much for me to handle at times. When I come to even a slight glimpse of what this means to me in my life, it is as if everything else in the whole wide world just fades away except that which is near and dear to my Father's heart, those things that mean the most to Him. And those are the things that matter.

GOD - the King of kings - did not just tell me that He loves me. He did not just say, "For God so loved the world..." (John 3:16), He sent His Son to die so that I could be forgiven. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
-Romans 5:8

God did not just tell me that He loves me. No, He demonstrated it by sending His Son Jesus to the earth while we were still sinners and He died for me. Does that ever hit you? Does it ever strike you as absolutely amazing, that Christ died for us - for you and for me? No "god" of any other religion dare step down that low to become like us so that He could die in our place.

"I love Him." I do. I love Jesus. And yet those are just words, and those words when simply written in ink do not mean a thing. Nothing at all. Anyone can say anything, whether they truly mean it or not. God is not dumb. It may be obvious, but I think that we forget. He is all-knowing; He knows that we are good with our lips and not so good with carrying out what we say with our lips. He says:

"These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me."
-Isaiah 29:13

"If you love Me, keep my commands... Whoever has My commands and keeps them is the one who loves Me."
-John 14:15, 21

Ah, there it is. This is how I can demonstrate to the Lord Jesus Christ how I love Him. This is how I am able to make my words more than just words. This is how I show Him that I do, in fact, love Him.
If I love Him, I will obey Him.

Even when it is hard.
Even when it goes against everything and everyone around me.
Even when it seems impossible.
Even when it means that I must give up something "valuable" to me.
Even when it means that I do not get my way.
Even when it means that I must lose everything so that I may gain all of Him.

Yes, surely if I love Him, I will obey Him.




Seven months ago I followed Him on a part of this Journey that broke me in ways that I can never truly describe. Pieces of it seemed impossible at times, and yet the Lord's strength broke through at just the right moment, every single moment. Sometimes I did not understand some things, but that did not matter because the peace that the Lord gave me outweighed any and all doubts that may have been swirling around in my oh-so-human mind. And that is exactly why I am sharing this. I do not share this to say that I am perfect or that I have in any way arrived. I share this as a reminder, as much to me as to any one else, that when one obeys the Lord, blessings follow. He always leads, always loves, always provides.

He does not ask me to obey Him and then leave me there, hanging off of the cliff. No, He gives me the resources to climb up the mountain and do what He has asked me to do, to carry out the task that He has set before me. Always. It has never failed in my life. He has never failed me. Maybe I have not understood some circumstances or situations and yes, there have even been those times when I was completely broken and could not comprehend why the Lord would allow such a thing to happen. And yet every single time, He overwhelms me with His peace. And He reminds me that He has a Plan. A very, very Perfect and Profound Plan.

"If you love me, keep My commands." What is it that the Lord is asking me to do next? Will I do what the Enemy tempts me to do and walk away from it, because the task seems too big? Will I go the other direction, thinking that my way is the best way? Will I shy away from it, seeing it as something bigger than myself and definitely never something that the Lord would ask ME to do?!

No. No. No! I cannot. I look back on all that the Lord has done in my life and I cannot. I cannot disobey my Lord. All that matters is Him. That is it. It is not about me. No way is it ever about me. I cannot even take my next breath without the Lord allowing my heart to beat again. No. I must obey Him, with everything... everything... No matter what.

Seven months ago I stepped off of a small airplane onto once unfamiliar soil. Two weeks later I stepped back onto that airplane, forever changed. Tired, yes. Having been stretched beyond my comforts, yes. Having faced fear a number of times, yes. Did the Lord give me strength? Every single moment. Did He grow me through the moments that I was stretched beyond my "comfort zone"? Oh, yes. Did He give me a peace "which transcends all understanding" (Philippians 4:7)? Yes, yes, yes!

Will I obey Him with my next step? Moment-by-moment, day-by-day?

One of these moments I am going to be face-to-face with my Savior, or perhaps face down because of His great splendor and glory and holiness. I want to hear Him say, "Well done." I want to know Him. I want to have obeyed Him with every ounce of myself here on earth, to be stretched and used by the King of kings - for His service and for His Kingdom. There is no greater Purpose in all of life, no where and in nothing else.

One purpose. One mission. When I am focused on Him, everything else simply falls away, drops away...

Will I show Him that I love Him? Will I obey Him?

Step-by-Step... A Journey of Looking Back

I find it crazy how this amazing Journey with the Lord works. Sometimes I feel as though I am facing a red light or a stop sign and the pain in that awful time of waiting seems almost unbearable. I get impatient when the LORD does not answer me in my time. I try to fly through the yellow lights without yielding to what the LORD has for me. I do not heed His warnings to "slow down" and then I end up in a collision that pushes me down hard on my knees... the place where I am humble and realize my complete need for God in my life.

This Journey really is one of steps. I look back and I see that so clearly. Each step was made up of an act of obedience. Some steps were smaller than others, but just as necessary as the other ones. Some steps were harder than others and some grew my faith more than others. Some of the steps resulted in tears; some were tears of joy and others, tears of loss. Yet all of the steps required a heart of complete trust in my God and a fall to my knees in complete surrender. All of them led me straight into the arms of my Savior. And I am so thankful. I know that God is not a feeling, but when you do feel Him and His love for you even amidst the times of confusion... you realize your true worth. I am wrapped in the arms of the One who holds the world. He surely knows how to care for His own. And I am one of His own. Oh, how unworthy I am! Yet how grateful and how humbled to know that I am loved by the King...

Step by step by sometimes painstakingly slow step... Each step is for a purpose, each one perhaps for a reason that we do not understand. I understand that now. Looking back over the course of these years, I can see it. I can understand why the Lord led me in the ways that He did. I may not understand completely all of the reasons for everything, but I can see His faithfulness to me then and I rest in knowing that He is faithful always, that He will be faithful to me now.

And this, this is what I live for. This is WHO I live for. Sometimes I am just so blown away by this thought. I do not know exactly where in this life the Lord is leading me on this Journey... But I do know with a confident reassurance that the last step will leave me on the streets of gold, enjoying the presence of my Savior and my God all day, every day, for all of eternity. One step here on earth might be painful. It might be almost unbearingly hard. It may even seem impossible; it may BE impossible without God's supernatural strength and intervention. It may lead me to places that I never would have dreamed or imagined... And yet I know that at the end of it all, I will be able to fall at the feet of my God, and I will want to know that I lived this life doing all that I could for Him and for His Glory.

God has taken me to amazing, indescribable places in this Journey with Him. He has allowed me to meet the most precious, incredible people that anyone could ever have the pleasure of meeting. He has broken my heart in humility and humbleness through many circumstances... knowing that in order for Him to fulfill in my life what He knows is best, I must have a completely surrendered heart. Looking back and knowing all of this allows me to look forward to the future with a confidence that only comes from Christ.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6

May I never, ever, ever forget this truth. There are no winding roads with the Lord. There may be stop signs; there may be flashing yellow lights and "yield" signs; there may be intersections of temptation where I must decide to stay on the straight and narrow, without turning to the right or to the left. Yet I know that the path is straight for the one who trusts in the Lord and not in her own understanding, the one who acknowledges Him... I look back and I see this now. I may not understand every step, but I understand that they are all for a reason and that I can trust Him.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
-Romans 8:28

Yes, yes! I understand this now. I may not understand all of Him and all of His ways, but if I could He would not be a God worth following... He is too awesome and magnificent and incredible for mere human thought. I may not understand why certain things happen in my life and in the lives of ones that I love, but I understand that God loves me and that He is working together a far greater plan than anything I could come up with on my own.

And for this, I am forever grateful. To Him be the glory forever and ever and ever and ever...

Oh, the depth...

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 'Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?' 'Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen."
-Romans 11:33-36


view from the Citadel in Haiti

In "Voices of the True Woman Movement", Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares her experience of riding in a jeep through the Rocky Mountains with her friends in Colorado. The climb was long and even scary at times, as they came real close to the edge of the mountain. At points, they would get out of the jeep and hike the steep trails. After many curves and narrow trails, they finally - finally - made it to the top of the mountain. There, they looked out over the breathtaking view that surrounded them and were awestruck by the beauty of God. Their effort was rewarded.

Nancy compares this to the verses in Romans above and how Paul must have been feeling. Nancy says, "In the first eleven chapters of Romans, Paul lays out the basic doctrines of our faith - the sinfulness of man, the amazing grace of God, the salvation that is possible for us through Jesus Christ. Then, in the remainder of the book - chapters 12 through 16 - Paul makes practical application of everything he has written before... And the doxology of Romans 11:33-36 serves as a bridge between the two." It is as if Paul pauses to think about all that the Holy Spirit has written through him, and he is struck speechless. He breaks out into praise to God - "How unsearchable... Who has known the mind of the Lord?... To Him be the glory forever! Amen."

I can relate to this feeling - this feeling of being speechless before the magnificence of God. You cannot describe it. You cannot give it to others to feel. You cannot put into words the beauty and the majesty and the magnificence of God when you have experienced even just a glimpse of it. In Haiti, we had the opportunity to hike up to the Citadel - an old army fortress from the early 1800's, built on a mountain top to fend off the attack of the French that they thought was coming. This fortress, built nearly 3,000 feet above sea level, is situated on the highest point that I had ever climbed to. It was an exhausting hike, yet when we reached the top and looked out over the vastness of the beauty of God in Haiti, I stood speechless. All I can do is say, "Wow, God. You are awesome. To You be the honor and glory forever and ever! Amen."

So when Paul reaches this point, he is struck speechless. He cannot describe the depth of the riches of God's wisdom and knowledge. God's ways are too great for us, as mere humans, to understand. Our minds are too small to wrap around it. Our eyes are too blind for us to see it. The ways of our awesome, limitless, powerful God - "Oh, the depth"!

So, what does this have to do with true womanhood and learning more of what it means to be a true woman of God? It all begins with, "Oh, the depth..."

We can go to the bottom of the deepest part of the depths of the ocean (the Marianas Trench, a chasm in the Pacific near the island of Guam), yet then we stop. We can dig our way through the deepest mine filled with gold (located near Johannesburg, South Africa, extending two full miles into the earth), but eventually the riches will end. We can go through life living on our own strength, but eventually it will be exhausted.

God's ways are not like that. His wisdom and His knowledge (Romans 11:33), His kindness and forbearance and patience (Romans 2:4), His glory (Romans 9:23), His mercy (Ephesians 2:4), His grace (Ephesians 1:7-8) - Oh, the depth of His riches!

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!"

This means that God knows everything and everything about everything. God knows about every difficult situation that we face, every family issue, every need, every challenge, every sin, every fear, every insecurity, everything about our past, present, and future and everything that we think we have hidden away in the depths of our hearts. God knows it all. We can see that as reason to shrink away from the Lord, or we can draw nearer to Him and allow Him to shine His light on the depths of our hearts and prune away our sin issues so that He can transform us - that we may live righteous lives before the Lord and please Him in everything we say and do.

God's ways are unfathomable, unknowable, unsearchable, and unable to understand. They are just too great. What does this have to do with becoming a true woman of God?

Nancy lists three reasons:

1) A true woman lives a God-centered life.

We live in a self-centered world. Yet a true woman of God lives a God-centered life even amidst all of the selfishness around her. She realizes that compared to the vastness and the magnificence of God that causes us to become speechless and our hearts to skip a beat, her problems and challenges are tiny. Standing at the top of the mountain in Haiti, my biggest challenge and hardship would be as small as the smallest ant on the ground - as I am standing nearly 3,000 feet above sea level. Looking out at the vastness of His creation and of the beauty of His awesome Hand, my problems no longer seem so huge. In light of the magnificent and powerful God that I serve, my problems are nothing. He does, after all, hold the whole world in His hands. A true woman of God is enthralled with Jesus Christ, her Lord and her Savior. Her life revolves around Him and only Him. Her life is centered around her Savior and her Lord.

2) A true woman trusts God.

Our world is filled with bad news and troubling times. Every corner we turn seems to be filled with some sort of tragedy, especially when the news of the world is blaring in our ears. We are a fearful people. Yet a true woman of God is not filled with fear. She simply trusts. She trusts the One who made her, the One who knows her heart more than anyone has the capacity to understand it, the One who created the universe, the One who holds the whole world in His hands. She trusts in the One who has control. She "can laugh at the days to come" (Proverbs 31:25) because she has nothing to fear. Her laughs are light-hearted and her smiles are genuine. Her life revolves around the One who holds the whole world in His hands and she knows that He is in control. His plans are good - for her life, for her distinct situations, for her troubling times, for her challenges, for her tragedies. He is in control. Nancy says, "And though many of us would never dare to speak such words aloud or even consciously think them, many of us are practicing athiests at times, living as if there's no God, or at least wondering if He has really messed things up this time." A true woman of God can give over her control, because she realizes that she really has no control at all - not over her next breath and not over the world around her. Nancy also says, "The true woman who trusts God doesn't have to strive. She doesn't have to be afraid. She can relinquish control. She doesn't have to manipulate and control the whole wide world (as if we could). She doesn't resent, or resist, or run from the cross. She embraces the cross with faith." A true woman of God realizes the depths of His riches... and she knows that she can trust Him.

3) A true woman says, "Yes, Lord."

A true woman of God pursues His passions for her life. She pursues the path that He has so strategically and perfectly set before her. She does not resent it; she pursues it with all her passion and all her energy. She may not understand it, but she follows anyway. Her faith is not a blind faith, but a faith that trusts in One she cannot see - because she sees His hand in her life and acknowledges it. She knows she does not have to understand. She does not have to analyze or question or try to figure out the depths of the Lord and of His Plan. She just follows Him joyfully and without hesitation. She never asks the question, "What will make me happy?" Always, she asks, "What will please You, Lord?" A true woman of God lives an intentional life, pursuing the Lord and obeying Him with all of her heart and soul. With every area of her life, she surrenders - "Yes, Lord" is the cry of the true woman's heart.

We may feel as though we are climbing the highest mountain in the world and we cannot yet see the peak of it. We question. We wonder. We cry out in exhaustion and pain as the last of our strength gives way. This - this is when we hit rock bottom and we must allow the Lord to pick us up and lift us up. For "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

"In every situation and circumstance of your life, God is always doing a thousand different things that you cannot see and you do not know."
-John Piper

We must continue on by the grace and strength of God. One day, we will reach the top. We will look out over the vastness of the beauty of the awesome hand of God and we will look back on the path that we have taken and we will stand in awe, speechless at the sight of the providential and perfect hand of God in our lives. The depths of His riches are too great for our feeble minds to understand. Yet may our hearts cry out, "Oh, Lord, how great Thou art!" He knows what He is doing and He knows exactly how His perfect plan is going to unfold in your life and in mine.

Until then and for all those times when we feel so very far away from the summit - from the peak of the view of the splendor and vastness of the beauty of the awesome hand of God - may we remember...

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 'Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?'"
-Romans 11:33-34