The Climb

This post goes out to my dad, because I know without a doubt that I would not be who or where I am today without him:

     I climb the small hills that surround the creek, one slippery rock at a time. It was my favorite part about going fishing with Dad. Whether or not I caught a fish did not matter in comparison to the sense of adventure that I felt when walking through the woods with Dad. Except for the morning that my brother came along with us, and I caught a fish before they ever did. Dad’s face lit up with such a sense of joy and pride, and my little eight-year-old heart could not have felt prouder. I always made Dad put the worm on the hook, but as soon as he got the line ready for me, I would fling the line out and it would land on the water with a smooth plop. I would stare at the bright orange bobber that sat calmly on the surface, listening to nothing but the water as it calmly ran downstream, the birds’ early morning song, and the occasional woodpecker that would try in vain to interrupt. Most of the time it was just me and Dad, and we often sat in silence as to not disrupt the fish. After a few hours, we would climb through the woods and over the rocks, back to his grey Chevy pick-up truck. Whether or not we caught a fish, we both knew without a word that it was a successful day.

     Ten years later, and I am again climbing. This time, it’s the small slope up the ramp that leads to the airplane that promises to take me three states away from Dad – Dad and Mom and my brother and sister and all that I knew and loved. Whether or not I got a window seat or sat uncomfortably in between two overweight men did not matter to me in comparison to the weight of overwhelming desperation that was lying heavy on my heart – desperation for things to be back to the way that they always were. I looked back and saw Dad standing at the top of the stairs. His face lit up with such a sense of joy and pride in the woman that I had become, and tears sprang to my eyes because my eighteen-year-old heart could not have felt prouder. Dad had gotten the line ready for me. He had done his part in raising me to become the woman that I was, and now it was time for me to fling the line out – to step out into the unknown, to walk into the adventure that was before me, to “put the worm on the hook” for myself as Dad had taught me to do. Looking back at Dad, it was clear that we both knew without a word that these eighteen years were a success. Now it was my turn to pass on what he had taught me, and to step out into this season of life that he had been preparing me for all these years. Early Saturday morning fishing adventures were only just a part of it.         

The Refiner's Fire

It's good to be home.

To be away from my job (even though it is great), my classes (even though I am learning so much in them), my city (even though I have learned how to love it), and even my friends (even though they are wonderful). It is just good to be away from everything and to be at home, with my family and friends here, and to be refreshed by them and by this wonderful country air that I seem to love and appreciate even more now than ever.

To be refreshed and to reflect. That is what I have been doing. I have been reflecting on how difficult and wonderful this semester has been. Difficult in that it has been so challenging both mentally and spiritually. Wonderful in that, in the process, I am being refined by the Great Refiner into more of who He wants me to be.

This semester has been different. It has been more than I thought it would be and it has been less than I thought it would be. It has been filled with changing friendships, deepening friendships, weekends running away from everything with my roommate, learning how to write and preach an exegetical message for a women's class and being so stretched in this new challenge, meeting Nancy Leigh DeMoss and being reminded of how faithful my God is, being given a job that I could have never asked for, more homesickness than I have ever experienced, two bouts of sickness that left me in bed and even more homesick, being challenged in my faith and in my beliefs, being stripped of the legalism of my past, making decisions that caused my heart to battle so fiercely within that I have fallen to my knees in desperate prayer, crying through Psalms on the roof, waging war against the powerful assault of doubts from the Enemy, learning how to read God's Word with the deep realization that it is truly living and active, and falling more in love with my Savior as I get to know my rebellious and sinful state more and Him and His great grace and love better. Yes, this semester has been different. It has been more and it has been less than I thought it would be and it has been wonderful and it has been challenging.

Overall, it has been extremely refining.

The dictionary defines this word, "refine," as "remove impurities: to produce a purer form of something by removing the impurities from it, or become pure through such a process" or "make something more effective: to improve something through small changes that make it more effective or more subtle."

This is what the Lord has been doing in my life. He has been removing my impurities to produce a purer heart within so that I may be more effective for ministry to further His Kingdom. It is so painful to go through the Refiner's Fire. Some days, it is excruciating as I feel as though I am standing in the front lines of a full fledged battle and the Enemy's troops look so much fiercer and bigger and stronger than me. And then I remember the Armor of the Lord (Ephesians 6) that I wear and I remember the One who not only stands before me, but goes with me. I remember the promise of the outcome of this Fire and I sometimes whisper, sometimes scream, back to the Lord, "Let it be so!"

The outcome of this Refiner's Fire is purity. It is effectiveness. It is being purified, as with fire, of all of the things in my heart and life that are not of the Lord so that I can be more effective for His Kingdom. It is excruciatingly painful at times, this Refiner's Fire. Not only does this fire purify my heart of all of its impurities (which are so ugly and painful to look at and face in the light of the Fire), but it purifies my life of all of the actions, habits, relationships, and beliefs that are not of the Lord. Sometimes I scream out to the Lord to please give me a break from the Fire, to please allow me to "just be" for a moment.

And then I realize that what I am asking from Him is to be removed from His hand as He is guiding me through the Fire, so that I can sit in the scum of the world for a while. It would sure be easier that way - to be able to make my own choices based on my feelings and not on the Truth of His Word, to be able to live my life my own way and on my own time instead of His way and His time, to be able to compromise and live like the world for just a moment.

To get to the heart of the matter, I must ask the question: "Why?" Why don't I just remove myself from this Fire if it is this painful? Why don't I just live my life my own way, based on my feelings and not His Truth, if it would be so easier that way? The Lord asked me that question tonight. It stopped me in my tracks.

And then I felt Him whisper to my heart, "Would you trade knowing Me for this easier path?" Tears sprang to my eyes as I whispered back, "No. I would not trade knowing You for the world." This is why I choose to be thankful for the Refiner's Fire, for through it I am purified and made more effective for His Kingdom. This is why I can smile under the Potter's Hand, for it is under His hand that I am shaped into who He wants me to be. This is why I choose to live in relationship with Him and to live in light of His will, His plan, and His life for me. To whom shall I go? I know too much of His faithfulness, too much of His love, too much of Him to ever step foot outside of the Fire. Knowing Him is the great reward of this life. Getting to know Him better every day is the great joy of it.

In this Fire, the Lord is more real to me than He has ever been. His Word to me is more living and active than I have ever noticed it to be. He is more trustworthy and faithful than I have ever known Him to be. Therefore, I trust that He knows exactly what I need in each season of my life and, because of that, I have exactly what I need in this season.

Yes, this Refiner's Fire is painful. It is more challenging than I ever expected it to be. Why do I stay? A better question to ask is, To whom else shall I go? There is nothing and no One who compares to this One. And, therefore, I say with earnestness and desperation and tears, I would not trade this for the world.

"I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’”
-Zechariah 13:9

All of life is meaningless if I am not His and He is not mine. Therefore, to the Fire and the Refiner behind it Who I trust and love with my life, I say: So be it. Purify me that I may be made more effective for Your Kingdom. It is the great reward of my life to know You and the great joy of my life to get to know You more.

When the Treasure Becomes Terrifying

It was just a fun night at the lake. It was just me and my friends filling the Chicago air with laughter.

Laughter. Fun. Happiness. We were carefree.

I looked out into the dark lake, as I have done so many times over this past year and a half.

But I was the only one looking. And as I stared out into the lake, a glowing circle fell from the sky. "Was that the moon?" I asked my friends. My answer came when an electric explosion rose from the lake. I knew that it was the moon the instant everything grew the blackest of black that I had ever seen.

Chaos ensued. I noticed for the first time the crowds of people that surrounded me. My friends and I were not alone. There were cries of desperation and devastation as the crowds had no idea what was going on. I became frantic. I knew.

I knew that Jesus was returning soon - at any moment. I knew that I was going to be with Him soon. I also knew that this crowd of people around me did not know where they were going because they were frantically searching for answers in the dark. I cried out to my friends, "We have to tell them! We have to tell them where they're going! We have to tell them that there is hope. This is our last and only chance!" I cried out in desperation.

And then I woke up.

I was thankful that this dream wasn't a reality. It was vivid. It felt real. But I woke up in my room, in my dorm at school, just like any other day. What did this mean? I didn't think too much of it that day.

Then I went out into the city. As I began to walk across the crosswalk, I flippantly commented to my roommate, "Sometimes I forget that these cars have people in them." I didn't think much of it until she looked back at me and said, "Wow, that was deep." I didn't mean for it to be deep. Actually, I didn't mean anything profound by it at all. But she got me thinking. I have forgotten. I have forgotten that this city is filled with real people with real needs and a real eternity ahead of them.

Then I rode on a city bus. I looked around at all of the faces before me who have so easily just blended together as I mind my own business, go where I need to go, and hardly acknowledge their presence. That night was different. The Lord brought back my dream. He brought back the flippant remark I had made about forgetting that the hundreds of cars around me are filled with people. And my heart broke. I have become numb. I study at Moody Bible Institute. Every day, I am being prepared for more ministry. Every day, I have conversations with friends about the Lord and His work in our lives and where He is leading us. Every single day.

And, yet, I have lost myself in theology. I have lost myself in my pile of books, in my twelve page papers, in my hours of classes and work. I have lost myself in the petty controversial issues that ensnare the Church. Although I believe it is good to talk about these issues and although I am thoroughly enjoying and learning from my time here at Moody and although I feel extremely blessed because I know that I am, I have forgotten.

I have forgotten about the moment a year and a half ago when I looked out over the city from the hotel window when I was visiting Chicago for the first time. I have forgotten the brokenness that my heart felt for the hundreds of people that I saw walking in crowds. I saw them as individuals then, as individual hearts in need of a Savior.

Now I just see crowds. Crowds and cars and faces without souls. I am thankful that my dream was not a reality. I am thankful that I can take it as a wake-up call. I am not sure what to do about it now. I don't even know what my next step is yet... but I know that the Lord has not placed me here in this great city to study at this great college to selfishly hoard my faith. It is a treasure that must be shared.

"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." -2 Corinthians 4:6-7

It is a treasure not meant to be hoarded or stashed away. If it were meant to be, Jesus would have never come. There is no joy in selfishly hoarding our faith. Actually, it becomes terrifying when I hoard it. Images of my dream, of the people frantically searching in the dark for hope, flood back to me and it haunts me. Some of those people in that crowd are people that I know. Others are strangers whom I have never met. All of them are people that Christ has died for.

It is a treasure meant to give away, for to us it has been given. Eternity is before us and we must not forget the reality we are living in that we will enter His presence at any moment.

Let's not forget or become numb. May I give my life away for the King and His Kingdom, for it is my desire that when He returns, I will not be found hoarding this Treasure.

Poisonous Perfection

I had it all together. I was the youth group student leader, Bible Study teacher, AWANA Cubbies helper, missions committee member, once-a-year-every-year short-term missions trip participant, Jr. Church teacher, small group leader, advice giver, counseler, devotional writer, Christian website administrator, campaign coordinator, twice-a-week church going girl. This was me. I was "perfect." No, really, those around me used the word to describe me more than once. I "had it all together." My family life was one of encouragement, support, and joy. My friendships were deep, loving, and wonderful. I never made a mistake - or, at least, that was the impression of those around me. Life was good. I was serving the King. My days were bliss.

And then I came to the end of myself. This "perfect" life had become a poison. I cringe when I think of how easily others considered me to be this perfect girl who led a perfect life. How disgusting. How fake. How unloving and pious and ugly and ungenuine. How Pharaisaical. How displeasing to the Lord. It was an oxymoron of a life, really; I was striving so hard to please the Lord so perfectly that, in the process, I was really only displeasing Him.

Why do I say that? Because the Lord desires a relationship with us - a pure, humble, genuine relationship. He desires that we live in unity and love with one another. This includes serving, yes; it also sometimes includes letting our guards down, admitting that we truly are not perfect, and in humility considering others better than ourselves. This wasn't me. I was the girl with all of her walls up, never admitting any failures with anyone, and always (even if subconsciously) considering herself to be leading a much better, pure life than those around her.

How disgusting. How fake and unloving and pious and ugly and displeasing to the Lord.

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).

Ouch. Those words are like a piercing arrow to my heart. Really. It hurts. Again, it's an oxymoron, but although this verse hurts my heart because I know that I am prideful, it also just plain hurts my pride. God opposes me? No way. That is impossible. And in my stubborn pride I once again go back to my pharaisaical, Martha way of living.

How disgusting. How fake and unloving and pious and ugly and displeasing to the Lord.

How untruthful. In putting on the facade of "having it all together" and "never making a mistake" and "living a perfect life," I was living a complete and flat-out lie.

The truth is, I am not perfect. In bringing me to Moody Bible Institute, the Lord has been bringing me to terms with that fact. Here, I am broken. I am so, so imperfect. I thought that I knew everything there was to know about the Bible; every day, I am continuing to learn more and as a result, realizing just how much I do not know. I thought that I was a brilliant teacher; I have taken Studying and Teaching the Bible and Message Preparation for Women and have been brought to some of my lowest points in realizing how ineloquent I am. I thought that I was a wonderful leader; I am continually humbled every day by the amazing men and women of the Lord around me who lead in a way that I have never seen, let alone have been able to do myself. I thought that I was strong and unable to be broken by anyone or anything; thank the Lord, that isn't true either.

The truth is, I am more broken now than I ever have been in my life. The Lord has stripped me down of everything that I ever was or thought I was and is continually, slowly building me back up into who He wants me to be. It's beautiful. It's painful. It's lovely and it's hard and it's necessary. I do not want to enter the Lord's presence one day having lived my life as a lie before others - having put on the facade that somehow I am the only one on the planet who truly has it together. Because the truth is, only the Lord Jesus Christ truly had it all together. We are broken people in need of a Savior to make us whole. Thank the Lord, He has sent us that Savior.

In my brokenness, I am free. In my shortcomings and failures and mistakes, I am human. In my desperation and repentance to the Lord, I am healed. In my admittance to those around me that I am imperfect, I am free - free to love others and to be loved in return. What a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders - and only because it has been placed on the One who walked to Calvary for me. Praise Jesus. Thank you, Lord.

It brings tears to my eyes and a heaviness to my heart to think of this oxymoron of a life that I have lived. Pride is dangerous and subtle and directly of the Enemy of our souls, who desires to see us living these pent-up lives of poisonous perfection. Why? Because he is a liar and he desires to see us live our lives as liars. But why would anyone ever want to be like the pious, judgmental, perfect Christians that they see? It only offers more shame - just what the Enemy wants. This is why I call it a poison. It permeates the Church and leaves the rest of the world in resistance of ever wanting to follow the Christ that all of these unloving, lieing, perfect Christians claim to love and follow.

It pains me. May I live my days in the freedom and love of the Lord who makes this imperfect, shallow, unloving, prideful heart whole. As a result, the walls around my heart will be knocked down, giving room for the Lord to enter as King and others to enter my life. I will be more free and able to love and be loved by others and by my Savior.

I thought that I was too strong, too "put together," too tough to ever be broken. Today, I am thanking God that that isn't so.

Livin' the Ephesians 3:20 Life

Last night, as my hands were outstretched in praise to the Lord and the voices of about fifty other Moody students resounded around me in praise and surrender to our God, I smiled. As I sang out to my God that there is no other place that I'd rather be than right here in His love, I couldn't help but giggle a little. Suddenly the image of a blank piece of paper flashed across my mind. You may have heard the analogy that in surrendering our lives to the Lord, He hands us a blank piece of paper and asks us to sign our name at the bottom - no disclaimers, no "buts", no strings attached - just simply signing our name in complete surrender to all of the details that the Lord would fill in about our lives. Sometimes, that scares me. Sometimes, I wish I would have signed my name in pencil so that I could go back and erase it. Yesterday, it just made me smile.

God is not a God who is "somewhere out there." He is not aloof from us, far out of our reach, or only there when He has time to be. No, the Lord is a personal God who loves each and every one of us in a personal, intimate, passionate way. When He asks us to "sign our life away", He does not laugh in mockery; He does not sit up on His Throne and laugh a sinister laugh of selfish pleasure, as if He is a dictator pleased that we have agreed to be under His dictatorship.

No, the Lord is Jehovah-Shammah, the Lord who is present with us (Ezekiel 48:35). He is Jehovah-Shalom, the Lord who is our Peace (Judges 6:24). He is Jehovah-Rohi, the Lord who is our Shepherd (Psalm 23:1).

This is the Lord who I serve, the Lord who I love and the Lord who loves me passionately. When I signed my life away, I did it with a smile - knowing that He is trustworthy, knowing that He is always present with me, knowing that He is my Peace, knowing that He is my Shepherd who leads and guides me and wants what is best for me. It is a Joy to know Him and to get to know Him more. The more that I know Him, the more I know whole-heartedly and with full assurance of faith that I can trust Him. And the more that I trust Him, the easier it is for me to relinquish control of my life to Him. When I say that it is a Joy to honor and serve and live for the Lord, I truly mean that it is a Joy.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..." (Ephesians 3:20)

It is an Ephesians 3:20 life, this life that He has given me. Thank you, Kimberly Wagner, for reminding me of this Truth. The Lord has given me a life that I have sometimes been too afraid and too doubtful to even ask for. He has given me a life that I never thought possible. Why? According to the power at work within me... Not power that is my own; no, this is the Power of God. And that is why I rejoice, that is why I smile, that is why I am so full of Joy and Peace. "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galatians 2:20).

Of course, there are things in my life that are not easy. There are things that the Lord has had to so lovingly pry my stubborn fingers off of so that I could experience the freedom of letting go and allowing the Lord to have control. There have been times when I was so discouraged, I did not want to get back up again. There have been times when I almost missed out on this Ephesians 3:20 life because of my own doubts and fears. Looking back, I cannot believe that I am where I am today; it is only by God's Grace that I am able to say that the Lord has done "far more abundantly than all that" I "ask or think, according to the power at work within" me....

"...to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen" (Ephesians 3:21).

Amen. May I continue to know, love, and trust Him more as I follow in this path that He has set before me. I am loving living this Ephesians 3:20 life; it is my heart's desire that everyone would experience this Joy and Peace and Love and Life that is in Christ Jesus my Lord. To God be the glory!

Wait: A Recurring Theme

I never - ever - share what I write in my journal... with anyone. The contents of it are my heart, as I pour it out before the Lord - my Rock, my Redeemer, my Father, and my Friend. He is my safe place, my place of refuge, and so what I share with Him are the pure contents of my heart. However, something that I recently wrote in my journal explains perfectly how I feel right now and what God has been teaching me through it, so I am going to share it here:

"I can hardly believe my life; honestly, I am always in transition... Whenever I get settled, You move me again. I see the purpose and the wisdom in that, for if I were to get comfortable in any place, I may get complacent. And I realize the dangers in that (complacency), especially as You have called me into full-time ministry. My flesh yearns for settlement and comfort, but I know You are pulling my spirit to higher places ~ places of Your calling and will in my life. Give me continued grace to accept that, I pray."

If my life had one theme word, it would probably be "wait." I think many of us who are following the Lord and desiring to obey Him would attest to this. I have many desires in this heart of mine, but to many of them the Lord continues to say, "Wait."

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." -Psalm 27:14

The reason that my life is this one big transition is because I am waiting on the Lord - actively waiting... pursuing His best, following His lead, doing what I can to do my part within His will for my life. This does not mean that I am perfect; I say with Paul, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).

To wait on the Lord does not mean to sit back, relax, and stare into space until the Lord shows you what it is you are to do next. To wait on the Lord means to actively pursue Him and His purposes, actively following Him as He shows you the next step, using your God-given wisdom to make informed and wise decisions. This is why I can say that the reason that my life is this one big transition is because I am waiting on the Lord.

Why? Why do I wait on the Lord instead of pursuing my own pleasures and desires and hopes and dreams? I realize that human logic, determination, and lots of hard work can get a lot of things done. I have tried, many times, to accomplish many things in my own strength - and, oftentimes, have accomplished them; exhausted and burnt-out, yes, but productive. So why do I wait instead of relying on my own flesh to do what I want to do?

Love.

That is it - love. My love for the Lord and His love for me. For, "In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome..." (1 John 5:3)

Love. His love for me overwhelms me and my love for Him is why I follow, why I pursue Him, why I wait. Looking back on my life and seeing how the Lord has so perfectly designed my life (full of its heartaches, changes, transitions, and joys), I rejoice. I have seen how the Lord has so graciously designed my life and given me even more than I ever would have chosen for myself had I decided to do things my way instead of waiting on the Lord... And so I won't turn back.

The cross before me, this world behind me...

A few specific things you can be praying for me for as I leave for another year at Moody Bible Institute:
*That I will find a job that will not only provide for my room-and-board, but will work with my crazy class schedule
*That the Lord will prepare my heart and work through me as I become (and am trained to become) a coach for some of the women's small group leaders
*That the Lord will keep this heart of mine humble, teachable, useable, and flexible

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Thank You, thank You, thank You for being my safe place - my place of refuge. Thank You for always knowing what is best for my life, even if that means that I must wait for it. Thank You for being my Rock - holding me fast - throughout all of these transitions and changes in my life. Thank You for being my Joy - making my life joyful, oh so abundantly joyful and full of peace and love and hope. Keep this heart of mine humble, teachable, useable, and flexible. Amen.

Free Indeed

Always striving... Always placing one heavy foot in front of another, seemingly running in place and never getting anywhere. The bar of perfection seems to always be ahead of me; it seems with every step I take, it moves forward two. The standard of holiness seems to always be above me; with every vain move I make to reach it, it moves higher another mile.

Always striving... and never reaching. Always running... but never moving. Always trying to please others' standards, others' expectations, others' rules... and never being quite enough.

Always striving... and always failing. Burnt-out and exhausted, I fall to the Throne of Grace where I hear these refreshing words in my ears:

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ..." (Romans 5:1)

Justified. This means that even in my sinful state, the Lord has declared me as righteous in His sight. That means that I have peace with God. Peace.

The truth of these words goes in my ears and into my mind and begins to penetrate my heart as I look up to my Savior and hear these words spoken:

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36)

I am free. I am free indeed.

The God of the universe chose to send His perfect, sinless Son to earth to live and die for us so that we could be set free. He died for our freedom. It is for this very reason that I wonder why so many of us live as if we are still in bondage when the Son has died to set us free?

Bondage to others' expectations. Bondage to religious rules. Bondage to a list of "dos" and "don'ts." Bondage to a cycle of sin, confession, and sin because we do not know the true freedom that we have in Christ.

But the Son has set us free! "For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." (Romans 6:14, emphasis mine)

We are no longer under a yoke of slavery if the Son has set us free. We are no longer "under the law" because we are now "under grace." We are not to live lives of legalism, of strict adherence to a certain law or a certain person's or group of people's list of rules that are most often merely preferences for living, for the Son has set us free from bondage and a yoke of slavery. Let us instead be servants of Christ, for:

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10).

As a seminary professor so aptly put it in 1963, "Legalism wrenches the joy of the Lord from the Christian believer, and with the joy of the Lord goes his power for vital worship and vibrant service. Nothing is left but cramped, somber, dull, and listless profession. The truth is betrayed, and the glorious name of the Lord becomes a synonym for a gloomy kill-joy. The Christian under law is a miserable parody of the real thing." -S. Lewis Johnson

God is not a kill-joy. The Creator of joy and of all things good is not the one who desires to steal joy and all good things from us. No, there is another One who holds that desire, and that is our Enemy: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." (John 10:10a)

But, contrary to popular belief, God has "come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10b).

May we stop our vain strivings, our treadmill runs to nowhere, and our joyless pursuit of perfection and instead fall at the Throne of Grace where Christ lifts up our weary souls and penetrates our hearts with these refreshing words, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" (John 8:36).

Free indeed. Oh, how my heart sings with the lighthearted realization that I am free, no longer held in bondage to others' expectations or to the law... but free to live life as the woman that Christ has created me to be, loving Him and obeying Him and living to please Him only.

Freedom. Infinite Joy. Peace. Life to the fullest. This is the life that I live because the Son has set me free - and I am free indeed.