God's Call

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wMnJidOhlQ

Click the above link to see a video of Zach Hunter when he was on The 700 Club last night. I was watching The 700 Club when Zach Hunter was on there. What a guy with an amazing vision and dream for his life! He is a teenage abolitionist and he has even written a book called "Be the Change". He has a passion for something and he is going after it! And I admire him so much for that. He seems like he puts God first in his vision, too, and he is trying to change the world. It is such an amazing thing.

How many of us teenagers realize that we have so much to offer this world at our age? How many of us realize that we can help change the world one person at a time? I encourage you to find something that you are passionate about, go to God with it, and if He says to go for it, then go for it. You can change the world. I can change the world. We can change the world - one person at a time.

"The thought of you was enough to keep the King of Kings strung up on a Roman cross; think of that the next time you wonder about what one girl can do. It only takes one to shake a nation. It only takes one to change the world. One faithful girl is all God needs to start a revolution. In time one can easily become one hundred, one thousand, or one million. But you can't have one hundred, one thousand, or one million without first having one. You are that one. So what are you going to do about it?"
-out of Shannon Kubiak Primicerio's book "God Called a Girl"

Is God calling you to do something - whether it's something small or huge? Is God calling you out of your ordinary life into something extraordinary? Are you listening? Are you obeying? Are you following God's call?

"This is what the LORD says — your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.'"
-Isaiah 48:17

Never Look Back

Thanks everyone for all of your encouragement and for going out of your way to encourage me!

Tuesday I had a very busy day, so I didn't think as much or as deep as usual. I like being busy because of that reason, because when I think and pray, I get answers. God brings thoughts into my mind that my heart does not want to hear because He may be calling me out of my comfort zone or into new territory for Him. So when I stay busy, I don't stop and listen. I realize now, though, that I need to stop and think throughout my whole day. I need to stop and listen to God's voice no matter how busy my day may be. We all have 24 hours in a day - some just use it more wisely than others.

I didn't read Proverbs 18 Tuesday morning, so I read it Tuesday night and then never read my devotions that I always read before going to bed. I was thinking, "Well, it's late and I need to be able to get up early tomorrow morning so I can read God's Word. Wouldn't God want me going to sleep instead of reading more of His Word?" Sometimes I am a very foolish person. I missed out on some really great insights that I really could have used Tuesday night.

I really love how the New Century Version puts Luke 9:62. Here's what it says, "Jesus said, 'Anyone who begins to plow a field but keeps looking back is of no use in the kingdom of God.'" Right before I read that verse I was looking at my now-bare wall where my Carrie Underwood poster used to be hanging and I was thinking, "Maybe it isn't wrong to listen to her music. I mean it's not bad or anything." God pierced my heart with that verse in Luke and said to me, "Anyone who wants to live sold out for Me will do only that which pleases Me. Don't look back." How amazing and refreshing God's truths are. Anyone who keeps looking back is of no use in the kingdom of God. Why do I constantly look back? I need to be looking ahead. I need to be looking up. Remember what happened to Lot's wife when she looked back?

"But Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt." -Genesis 19:26

"Remember what happened to Lot’s wife! If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it." -Luke 17:32-33

Then I read in 2 Chronicles 16:9 in the New Century Version [it's the version I use for my devotions at night] which says, "The LORD searches all the earth for people who have given themselves completely to Him. He wants to make them strong." I have been getting "hit" with all of these truths from the Bible and from others about giving everything to God and living to please Him in all that I say and do. There is no other way to live completely satisfied and filled and at peace than to live for God.

Don't look back, but continue looking ahead and continue looking up to God. Live to please God in all that you say and do, because the Lord searches all of the earth to find those who have given themselves completely to Him. He wants to make them strong.

An Ongoing Battle

I didn't get a good start on today at all. I woke up exhausted. I didn't want to read Proverbs 17, and it took me a while to read it because it wouldn't soak in. Then I read a chapter of "The Prayer of Jabez" and then read some online devotions and updated the quote on here. Then I got a shower and still had time before my class, so I sent out some emails I needed to. Then I read a little of my book ["Do I Have to Paint You a Picture?"] and then went into class. I was so exhausted, though, that at the end of that class [9:00] I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 12:00! I missed three of my classes, so I got caught up on them before my Spanish II class. Then I listened to Nancy Leigh DeMoss' "Revive Our Hearts" for today. Then later I went shopping with my dad and brother and got done my Christmas shopping. Then I helped my mom bake a couple of cookies and then wrapped some gifts. Later tonight I got a little down and discouraged because of some things.
Enough about my day... the point is, satan was really attacking me today. He was trying to get me down. He was trying to get me to give up. And thoughts were passing through my mind like, "Molly, maybe living the sinful life is better..." and "Yeah, maybe I should live like the world." and "Molly, life is hard... just give up." Those little whispers from satan can be so convincing and so alluring.

It is an ongoing battle between satan's words and God's words in my heart:
"Come on Molly, living like the world is better" - "No, it is not. You are Mine, Molly, and you were created to serve Me."
"Oh, Molly, just this once you can do what is wrong. Just this once." - "Molly, that one small wrong move can ruin your innocence. Don't do it. Flee from evil and run into My arms."
"You are mine... live like it!" - "Molly, you do not have to be under satan's control. I have called you out of that awful bondage of sin and death and you are Mine. Live like it!"

It is an ongoing battle for the Christian to face. Satan wants you. He doesn't want you living for God. No way - satan wants you to live his way. Why? Because he wants to see you perish. He wants to see you die. He wants to see your dreams and hopes crushed. He wants to see your innocence ruined. He wants your life to be broken.

But God says, "My purpose is to give life in all its fullness. [John 10:10b]. Come to me, for I will give you rest [Matthew 11:28]. Cast all of your anxiety on Me, because I care about you [1 Peter 5:7]. If you have called on my Name, you are Mine [John 1:12]! And I promise you that!"

In this journey and walk with Christ, there is an ongoing battle between evil and good.

"For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm."
-Ephesians 6:12-13

Yes, there is an ongoing, unseen, and very real battle constantly going on between satan [and all of his demons and followers] and God [and all of his angels and followers]. It is going on right now. If you're living a life for God, then you're going to face battles. If you're not facing any battles, then you're not living wholeheartedly for God.

So whose voice will you listen to? Satan's temptations and tauntings or God's still, small voice? Whose voice will you obey?

Asking for God's Blessings

It's late and I should soon get to bed, but I wanted to share something with you guys first. I have been reading "The Prayer of Jabez" book. I've been praying the prayer every morning ["Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory. Let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." 1 Chronicles 4:10] I paraphrased it, though, to make it something like this: "Oh, that You would bless me indeed - so that I may have the resources that I need to be used by You. Enlarge my territory - enlarge my area of opportunity, so that I may be used greatly by You and for You. May Your hand be with me - because without You, I can do nothing. Change my life around and make it what You want it to be."

It may sound wrong to ask God for blessings, but the thing is, it isn't! God wants us to go to Him and ask Him to give us more opportunities to serve Him. God wants us to have blessings, so that we can give to others. Think about it; God must love to hear His children cry out to Him for more opportunities to share His love, for more blessings to share with others, for His hand to be in all that we do so that we can be effective witnesses for Him! God answered Jabez's prayer, and let me tell you that He has answered mine as well.

God has been working in my life. He has been opening doors for me to talk to my friends about Christ. He has been helping me to not be so judgmental. He has been giving me goals for the new year that I would never have wanted before, but now I want to try to reach those goals. He has been helping me to get up in the mornings and read His Word. He has been giving me new perspectives on things. He has been opening my eyes to things in my life. He has been helping me to see myself in a new way, because my true identity lies in Him - and when I am connected to Him, I find my true and real identity and who I really am. God has been doing things in my life that I wasn't expecting to happen. All because I have been asking Him to.

You can ask Him, too. In fact, He wants you to go to Him and ask Him to "bless you indeed" so that you can use the blessings for His glory. He wants you to go to Him and ask Him to "enlarge your territory" and open up opportunities for you to share Him with others so that more people know the truth about Him. He wants you to go to Him and ask Him for "His hand to be with you" so that in everything you do for God, you will have His strength and courage to do it [and trust me, you need it]. Now the next part: "Keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain". Jabez's name basically means "pain". He didn't want to live up to his name and have a life of pain like those around him thought he would have. He wanted to live outside the borders that society placed on his life. He wanted to live the life that God wanted for Him. He didn't want to live a life of pain. He wanted to live the life that the people around him thought he would never live. He wanted God to change his life. He also wanted to be free from temptations and evil, so that the pain that evil causes would be spared on his life. He knew that once he started to live a life of blessing, satan was going to attack him spiritually. And so he asked God to spare him from evil.

Jesus wants us to ask him to spare us from evil. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." [Matthew 6:13] That was part of Jesus' model prayer for us to follow. He wants us to go to Him and ask Him to keep us from evil. Sometimes, though, fighting against evil is necessary. In those times, we need God's weapons and lots of prayer to help us get through the battles.
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds." [2 Corinthians 10:4]

God wants you to live for Him. God wants you to go to Him and ask Him to make your life extreme for Him. God wants you to go to Him and ask Him to help you to live above who society wants you to become. God wants you to go to Him and ask Him to keep you from unnecessary evil. God wants you to go to Him and ask Him to change your life.

"And God granted his request" [1 Chronicles 4:10]. If you go to God with a pure heart and pure motives, He'll grant yours as well.

The Power of Prayer

Last night I couldn't get to sleep. I felt restless and awake. I was also excited [yes, excited] to wake up "early" the next morning and spend time with God [which may have been the reason for me not being able to get to sleep; satan has a way of trying to get us to spend as little time with God as possible]. There was definitely a time when I would have dreaded this. And I'm sure that I still will sometimes. I am just so glad that God helped me to wake up this morning at 6:00, refreshed and ready to start the day [though I still felt very tired]. I read Proverbs 14, read a chapter of "The Prayer of Jabez", read devotions online, updated "Today's Quote" on here, got a shower, and went to class. I had a pretty good day in school today - busy, but good. During my break I did my Algebra quiz and some of my English test that I had never finished. Then after my Spanish II class I finished my English test and decided that I had done enough school for the day. So I called Emily B. and found out that she couldn't get to sleep last night either. Which is weird, since I was thinking about her last night [I never did tell you this, Emily] and so I prayed for her and then eventually I fell asleep.

There's something about prayer that is so very powerful. Sometimes at night as I'm drifting off to sleep I'll think about somebody that God has laid on my heart to pray for, and so I do. Even once in a while throughout the night God will wake me up and put someone on my heart to pray for. When God lays someone on your heart to pray for, then that person needs prayer. It would be wise to pray for that person right when you feel God telling you to [whether it's a close friend, an old friend, or a stranger that you encountered that day or even years before]. You may not see the results of your prayers, but know that if God presses on your heart to pray for someone, then that person needs prayer. They may be facing a temptation or a trial or pain in their life. They may be struggling in their walk with Christ. They may be looking for answers in their life and in their life's circumstances. You may never know why you need to pray for the person that you know God is pressing on your heart to pray for - but God does. And that's all that matters. You might see the results of your persistant and obedient prayers. You might not. Yes, it is rewarding to see the results of your fervent prayers in another person's life - especially if that person is your friend - but even if you never do, know that your prayers are worth it and know that God answers all prayers. He knows the outcome of your prayers before you even pray them. Prayer is powerful. Prayer changes circumstances, situations, and outcomes. To underestimate the power of prayer is to limit God's power in your life and the lives of others.

Does anyone remember the story in the Bible of the man who God had kept waking up in the middle of the night, but the man didn't know it was God at first? He kept obeying God though, and getting up out of bed every time God called Him. I can't remember who this man was or where his story is recorded in the Bible, so if any of you know, please let me know.

"You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas."
-Psalm 65:5

"If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me."
-Psalm 66:18-20

By the way, I want to let all of you know that if you ever have any questions about anything that I say on here, please comment me and ask me. I would love to help answer your questions if you're confused on something [even if it's something I've never posted about]. So please, feel free to ask me any questions you might have!

Desires of Your Heart

I got a bad start on my day today. I woke up really late and then got mad about it. I still did my devotions, though... and I didn't have much school to do since I did most of it yesterday. I did my school later tonight, since I didn't have much time before piano lessons to do it.

Something I struggled with today was wishing - no, more than that... desiring - things in my life that I don't have. Not so much "material things", more like people and friendships. Last night I had a dream about someone and I woke up desiring that it was true. I was dissappointed. I was frustrated. Then later today I got this deep desire for something else to happen in my life and if I would've let myself, I could've gotten depressed over it. I realized, though, that what I was desiring was so selfish. So I stopped my thoughts and prayed. I realized that I was being selfish and foolish. I realized that I needed to trust God with the situation, because He has ultimate control over it. And so I stopped my thoughts as they were quickly turning into sadness and on the way towards depression, and I said, "Lord, I'm sorry. You have control. Please help me." A simple prayer like that, and yet it helped so much. I didn't feel the same way about the situation the rest of the day. Now, I easily could have, since God gives us a free will and He lets us think whatever we want to [but we still have to pay consequences for the sin that we do]. But when I realized that what I desired was so selfish and that everything is under God's control and that I can trust Him, I have no reason to need to desire anything in this life except what God wants for me.

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need."
-Matthew 6:33

Seek God first. Put God first, above all else. Put God's Kingdom above everything in your life. He will give you the things that you need, He will give you the Godly relationships that you need, He will give you the Godly friendships that you need, He will give you the job that you need, and in His time and if it's in His plans, He will give you that guy or girl that you think you need right now. He will give you everything that you need if you put Him above everything else. Everything you need. No, not everything that you want or everything that you think you need. God knows what you need. He knows what you need better than you know what you need. We sometimes confuse what we think we need with what we really need in our lives. But God knows what we really need. God knows who we need. And He will give you everything that you need if you seek Him and His Kingdom first in your life and if you live for Him. You can trust Him with that.

God knows the desires of your heart, too. He knows the deepest desires of your heart that no one else knows about. He delights in giving His children what they desire - if it lines up with His will and with His plans. But keep in mind, if you are trying to live for God in every aspect of your life, then you're going to desire what God desires. And God will want to give you what you desire. He delights in seeing His children having joy and peace with their life. And even when everything around you seems to be crumbling, you can have peace that you have a God who cares. And you can look up to Him and you can give all of your burdens, all of your worries, all of your desires, all of your wishes, all of your dreams, to Him. I'm sure that when God sees His children humbly coming to Him and giving Him all of their burdens and all of their deepest dreams in their heart - I'm sure He delights in that. So delight yourself in the Lord. Make Him your number one priority. Put Him above all else. Seek Him and His Kingdom first, before anything. Live in a way that honors and pleases God. And when you do that, you'll see that your dreams and your desires will line up with God's dreams and desires for you - because you'll desire what God desires. You'll have dreams that you have never had before, because you will want God's dreams. And I am sure that that is a very fulfilling and very satisfying way to live your life.

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
-Psalm 37:4

Beauty for Ashes

I had a good day today. And the only reason I can say that is because of God! I woke up at 6:00, read Proverbs 12, read a chapter of "The Prayer of Jabez", and read some devotions online. Then I got a shower, checked my emails again, and went to class. I did a lot of my homework today, so I don't have as much to do tomorrow. Maybe I'll be able to get some more World Religions and maybe Creative Writing done. I'm wondering if I should drop Creative Writing. I realize that God doesn't want me to be stressed out, and if I don't have my priorities straight [with God first] then I know that He wants me to cut some things out of my life that really don't need to be there. I have really been trying to make God first in my life, in every area and in every situation. I have a feeling that my Creative Writing class is going to stress me out since it's so deep, and I'm wondering if I'll have to finish it over the summer. That or drop the class. I'm not sure what I should do yet.

After school I listened to Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Her program was really good today. She was talking about Simeon, who the Holy Spirit had told would not die until he had seen the Messiah. It so happened that the same day Mary and Joseph went to the Temple to present Jesus to the Lord [which was the ritual then], the Holy Spirit had led Simeon to the Temple. Now, I don't believe in coincidences! This was a divine appointment, set up by the Holy Spirit Himself.

Luke describes Simeon as being righteous [just and upright; conformable to what is right] and devout [careful, cautious; having reverence for God; fear of the Lord; wanting to please God in every area of his life]. Like Nancy pointed out, there were a lot of Jews in that day who were committed to the work of God. So what was different about Simeon?

He wasn't just going through the motions. He had a heart of reverence and devotion toward God.

Luke also says that Simeon was waiting for the consolation of Israel. Simeon was waiting for the Messiah. He was living in a dark and fallen world and time [as we are]. And when he saw Jesus that day in the Temple, he knew that he had seen the Messiah, and he knew that Jesus was going to be the glory of Israel [Luke 2:32] - the consolation of Israel!

A quote by J.C. Ryle:
"We see in the case of Simeon how God has believing people even in the worst of places and in the darkest of times. God never leaves Himself entirely without a witness. Let us believe that grace can live and flourish even in the most unfavorable circumstances. There are more Simeons in the world than we suppose."

God was the consolation of Israel. Read Isaiah 40:1-2, Isaiah 49:13, Isaiah 52:9, Isaiah 61:1-3 and you'll see that this is true.

-Are you looking to other things, things of this world, as your consolation? Or are you looking to the only true consolation - the only fulfilling and lasting One - Jesus Christ, the Messiah?
-Is God your consolation? Is He your only consolation?

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, because the Lord has appointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the LORD's favor has come, and with it, the day of God's anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, He will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory."
-Isaiah 61:1-3

Beauty for Ashes - How beautiful! True, Jesus was the consolation of Israel and He rescued them. But He has also come to be your consolation and comfort. He has also come to rescue you.

Beauty for Ashes. Jesus Christ can transform your ashes [your sin, your burdens, your mistakes, your worries, your life] into beauty. All you have to do is ask Him to. He rescued the nation of Israel. He can rescue your life.

Even When...

I wrote this poem to hand out with candy canes tonight when me and my friends [TRANSFORMED - The Bible Study that we do] went Christmas Caroling to the elderly... I love the elderly. It's like when I'm surrounded by them, something in me breaks -- I even started to cry tonight [and I don't cry easily]. It is so real, though... I am so drawn to them. They really touch my heart, and sometime I just want to sit down with them and talk with them about their backgrounds, their life, and about Christ. I am so thankful that God gave us the opportunity to go there tonight to Christmas carol to them and hopefully witness and reach out to them. I was so blessed by going there tonight.
Here's the poem [and I give all of the credit to God for this. He wrote it through me.]

Even when you feel regret,
Even when you're full of pain,
Jesus cares about your heart,
And you can call on His precious Name.

Even when you feel alone,
Even when you're full of fears,
Jesus holds out His hands to you,
And wipes away all your tears.

If you will fall into His loving arms,
If you will take His outstretched hand,
He will forever hold you close,
And lead you to a glory land.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."
-John 3:16

Effective Goals for the New Year

So the New Year is soon here, and like most of you, I'm making goals for the New Year. Not resolutions, but goals. Why not resolutions? Well, because when you make resolutions and then fail, you can easily get down on yourself and give up. When you make goals, you can tell yourself in the Presence of God, "Okay, I know that I might fail from time to time with these goals, but I am going to make them anyway and strive to accomplish them."
Also, the world makes resolutions... it seems like such a worldly term. America makes resolutions every year [most of which don't revolve around God]. America makes goals and calls them resolutions, and then usually fails at accomplishing them anyway. But making effective goals for the new year [like getting closer to God, striving to be more like God, etc.] that center on God and God's Will for your life are what I think every follower of Christ should be doing. So like last year, I'm going to be making goals again for the new year. I know a lot of you are going to be making goals, too, so here's a list of questions that you can ask yourself - in God's presence - to make effective goals for 2008.

1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?
9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?In addition to these ten questions, here are twenty-one more to help you "Consider your ways." Think on the entire list at one sitting, or answer one question each day for a month.
11. What's the most important decision you need to make this year?
12. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what's one way you could simplify in that area?
13. What's the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?
14. What habit would you most like to establish this year?
15. Who do you most want to encourage this year?
16. What is your most important financial goal this year, and what is the most important step you can take toward achieving it?
17. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your work life this year?
18. What's one new way you could be a blessing to your pastor (or to another who ministers to you) this year?
19. What's one thing you could do this year to enrich the spiritual legacy you will leave to your children and grandchildren?
20. What book, in addition to the Bible, do you most want to read this year?
21. What one thing do you most regret about last year, and what will you do about it this year?22. What single blessing from God do you want to seek most earnestly this year?
23. In what area of your life do you most need growth, and what will you do about it this year?
24. What's the most important trip you want to take this year?
25. What skill do you most want to learn or improve this year?
26. To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount this year?
27. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your commute this year?
28. What one biblical doctrine do you most want to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?
29. If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it?
30. What's the most important new item you want to buy this year?
31. In what area of your life do you most need change, and what will you do about it this year?

Source: http://www.spiritualdisciplines.org/newyear.html

Step-by-Step

Ahh... my days have been pretty busy lately... but I have nothing to complain about. I have lots of things to work on, though... like accomplishing things step-by-step instead of trying to jump ahead. It never works and it only makes me even more stressed out. I also need to figure this whole thing out about my music standards. I'm not sure if I made the right choice or not by deciding to not listen to secular music -- some of the songs have really good lyrics to them. Should I stop listening to contemporary Christian music? Is it okay to listen to Christian rock? Is it okay to listen to secular music if it has good lyrics? They are all questions that I've been asking myself lately. And then the whole "hurry sickness" thing -- it's been getting baad. I'm trying to slow my life down and I'm thinking of some things that I can maybe cut out of my life, but I can't really think of anything. Oh, and the whole being self-conscious thing? I find that I feel much better about myself when I'm connected with God. I haven't been feeling very connected with God lately, and as a result, I've been losing my true identity -- which lies in Christ. I was thinking today about how I learn everything the hard way. It really does seem like I do. I do think I'm getting better at it, though -- with God's strength -- but I still do learn things the hard way and learn the same lesson over again more than once. I guess it's all a part of growing and learning in Christ. I realize, though, that I need to keep trying and striving and yielding and surrendering and focusing. I need to keep on keeping on. I need to continue to live for God.

I think I found my problem. Not too long ago I felt like I was doing pretty good in my walk with Christ. Actually, I couldn't think of anything that I was doing wrong. Maybe you could say that I was even getting a little prideful. God humbled me and showed me through different people and through different things that I am not anywhere close to being perfect, that I am not anywhere close to being like Him, that I am not anywhere close to being "good" in my walk with Christ. He revealed to me that my walk with Him is a journey, with valleys and mountains, with hard and trying times and good and "high" times. Through my entire journey, God has been pruning me -- which is, at times, a very painful process. Though my journey isn't always easy, it is refreshing. It is worth it.

I was doing a World Religions lesson tonight [I'm trying to get caught up] and right now I'm learning about Hinduism. I was watching a video on the Hindus and their rituals and things and wow -- my heart just went out to them. They spend their entire lives doing all of these rituals for the "gods" and "goddesses" and try to stop reincarnation and reach Heaven... all of which is in vain. The only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ. And the Hindus don't know Him. Watching the video and watching them perform all of their rituals and prayers and trying, trying, trying in vain to reach the "gods" -- and all of this time they are wasting their lives away. Little children are following in their parents' footsteps and doing the same thing. I got tears in my eyes watching it -- and I don't cry easily! It is so sad. I pray that God will open their eyes to Who He really is and that they will find the true way to God -- through Jesus Christ.

"Tears of the Saints" - Leeland

There are many prodigal sons
On our city streets they run
Searching for shelter
There are homes broken down
People’s hopes have fallen to the ground
From failures
This is an emergency!
There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them "come back home"
We’re crying for them "come back home"
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home
There are schools full of hatred
Even churches have forsaken
Love and mercy
May we see this generation
In its state of desperation
For Your glory
This is an emergency!
There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them "come back home"
We’re crying for them "come back home"
And all your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
Sinner, reach out your hands!
Children in Christ you stand!
There are tears from the saints
For the lost and unsaved
We’re crying for them "come back home"
We’re crying for them come back home
And all Your children will stretch out their hands
And pick up the crippled man
Father, we will lead them home
Father, we will lead them home

"'I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.'"
-John 15:1-4

Intimacy With God

Well I think I'm getting out of my slump. Which is a very good thing! I want to grow closer to God than I ever have been before. I want to have a deep relationship with God. I was listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss today and she was talking about the relationship and communion that Moses had with God. It was such a deep relationship and such an amazing communion that Moses had with God. When Moses went to meet with God, all of the people in his camp would stand outside their tent doors and watch him. Some even went with Moses to meet with God. It's obvious that Moses' sincere devotion to God influenced the people around Him to also have a relationship with God.

-Is your life motivating people to get right with God?
-Are you shining so much for God that when people see you they want what you have -- a relationship with God?
-Does the way that you live inspire others to be more like God?

Just some things to think about. I know that I want to live the kind of life that brings honor and glory to God and that also inspires others to get closer to God. What people need from me and from you is someone who can give them good, Godly, advice and someone who can encourage and uplift them in their walk with Christ. And if I'm going to do that, then I need to daily be in the Presence of God. You shouldn't just go to God when you're in trouble - or when you had a really good day and you're feeling good about yourself. Every day you should be in the Presence of God. Every day I should be in the Presence of God. I should go to God everyday and just drown in His love and His mercy and His Presence.

Why does it take so long for God to get my attention sometimes? Why do I hesitate going into the Presence of God, when I know from the past that it is such an amazing place to be?

"The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent."
-Exodus 33:11

Joshua stayed behind in the tent because he wanted what Moses had - he wanted that relationship with God! And oh, how I want that, too. How I want an intimate, sincere, deep, relationship with God. I guess I just feel like I'm in a part of my journey right now where I'm not growing. But then I really think about it and I realize that I am growing. I am learning so much about God and about life and about myself. God has been revealing things to me and I am so thankful for Him. I am so, so, eternally grateful for God. I feel overcome by His wondrous love and mercy and grace and compassion and fairness and discipline and guidance.

Our God is an awesome God.

Another Step in the Journey

Well, it's December 1st... a new month. This morning I was trying to think of something I could do - a goal I could try to reach - this month, but I decided that trying to keep on track with God and continuing to find out more about Him and myself would be enough. I think I'm going to make up a new schedule, new plans, new goals, and maybe even new dreams for the New Year. But for now - for the rest of this year - I'm going to try to get closer to God and get out of this slump that I'm in.

I think I found the reason for the "valley" that I'm in right now. Well, for one thing, because it's all a part of growing in Christ. I need to be in these valleys in order to get on top of the mountains where I love to be with God. but if life was only full of "highs" and "mountains" with God, then there would be no growth. I would never grow in my relationship with God if I never experienced hardships, trials, pain, etc. I would never find a reason to rely on God with my whole entire life and being. But I think another reason that I'm in this valley is because I'm stressing myself out over doing devotions at a certain time, praying at a certain time, etc. Yes, I am reading a chapter of Proverbs in the morning and my devotions at night. I listen to or read devotions throughout the day sometimes, too. I listen to inspiring, Christian music. I pray throughout the day. I talk to my friends about God. But now I'm trying to set a schedule for myself. I need to get up early and pray and read the Bible. I need to do this at this time and that at that time. I need to read this devotion and sign up for that devotion. Oh, and I need to follow God's calling on my life, too... and I need to -
No, how am I going to live with joy if I put so much stress on my life? Following God is not about having stress. Yes, following God can be hard at times, but it will never be in vain if you are following Him humbly, with your whole heart, with Him leading you and you following Him. Yes, it's good to have goals. In fact, you should have goals. And you should follow God's calling on your life. But when you're putting stress on your life to try to accomplish so much at one time, you won't have joy. Follow Jesus. He'll take your stress, He'll take your burdens, He'll take your pain, He'll take your monotonous routines that you've exchanged for a relationship with Him and He'll give you a fresh, clean, start. Lay everything down at Jesus' cross.

Thank you for your encouraging words Emily B. and Emily K. [haha]. And thank you for your prayers and for being there for me.

So, I need to get out of this slump and get back on fire for God. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it really means to be in this world and not of it. That is such a hard thing to accomplish. But it can be done with God's help and God's strength. I feel like an outcast at times because of what I believe... but I guess it's good to feel like I don't belong here. Because I don't! I was called out with God's amazing grace and I am one of His own. I should be living on fire for Him. I should be following Him in every decision that I make and in everything that I do! And if that means giving up things that I love, then so be it. I just hope that I think that strongly about what I'm now saying when God does call me to give different things up for Him. He has before and I've usually always obeyed Him. But as I take more steps - that seem against the full force of the wind at times [which is satan]- through this journey, I'm thinking more into my beliefs and why I believe what I do and God has been reinforcing them and changing them. He has been changing my point-of-view on different things and has been giving me a new outlook on life and on different things. It is definitely a journey and it is definitely a journey that takes a lifetime - but it is also the journey of a lifetime.

When I listened to this song tonight, I got a picture in my mind of me carrying my "cross" to give everything up for God. Me going to His cross and laying everything there for Him to take. Jesus making me whole.

"Pieces" - Red
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from You
A broken mess
Just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see Your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You called my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole.
I've come undone
But You make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in Your eye
When I see Your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole.
When I see Your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.'"
-Matthew 16:24

Only You can make me whole, God. And You are Who I want to follow with my whole heart, for the rest of my life and for eternity.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
-Romans 12:2

Spiritual Highs and Lows

Sorry I haven't been posting on here every day. I've been in kind of a slump lately. I haven't been doing my checklist for Proverbs, just reading it. I've been getting up really late. I'm still behind in my World Religions and Creative Writing classes. I've been questioning my music standards. I've been saying the wrong things at the wrong times. I've been stressed. I've been being stretched spiritually [which is not a bad thing]. My patience has been being tested so much lately. Have I been responding to all of these things in the right way? I wish I could say that I have. But I haven't.

I've taken my stress out on my family. My relationship with God hasn't been the way that it should be, because of my own selfishness and foolishness. I have been calling myself a fool lately, because of different things I've said and done. I will admit it right now: I am not perfect. And as long as I'm here on this earth, I won't be. But, I should be striving to be more like Christ. Have I been? Not like I should be. Sometimes I feel like such a complete failure. Yet God accepts me. He accepts me.

I need to be obeying God in ALL that I do, and I will have a successful life. I've been falling back into the whole "hurry sickness" thing again [read post "hurry sickness"]. I hate when I get into these valleys in my walk with Christ, but I realize I must go through these in order to get back up on the mountain. But may my highs not be so high, and my lows not be so low. When my highs with God are so high, then my lows seem very, very low. I need to be taking control of the decisions that I make everyday, of the motivations behind those decisions, and what I believe in and why.

Today I got up late and read Proverbs 29. Then I babysat my little sister for a while, so we baked a cake and watched Scooby Doo. I love my little sister. :] Then I did some homework, then went to the library, then came home and did some more homework. I sent out some emails, and went to the store with Mom. We saw a shooting star on the way home! It was so cool. I love God's beauty. He is so beautiful that He would create all of the variety and beauty of this earth. And to think that Heaven is going to be even more beautiful... just to think of it astounds me.

Something to think about:
Are the choices you're making today going to ashame you when you come before God one day? Because we will all go before God. Of course, you can ask for forgiveness for your past mistakes, but I'm talking about your present. Are your present choices going to make a positive difference for eternity? Or do they only matter here on earth? Are your present choices going to put you to shame when you come before God one day? Or are you striving to live for God in all that you do - in what you wear, in what music you listen to, in who you hang out with, in what you're reading, in where you're going, in the magazines you look at, etc. The world is a sinful and fallen place. But as Christians, as children of God, we have hope because there is a God out there Who cares and Who loves. And if you go to Him and accept Him and follow Him you will be saved, you will live in Heaven with God for eternity. For eternity.

How beautiful God really is!

Belong

In church today Pastor Bill was talking about being an original. There are so many people today who were born an original [because we all are], but then live and die a copy. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be a copy. All of us were born an original. We were all born a unique original. If you live your whole entire life trying to please everyone else, you're never going to get anywhere. No one everywhere is going to accept you. You may think you fit in, but someone somewhere is going to think you're "weird" - to put it bluntly. "Buuut I want to fit in with THAT group! I don't care what anyone else thinks of me." Why do you try so hard to fit in? Why do you try so hard to copy "her" or to fit in so "he" will notice you? Why do we try so hard to be accepted?

We are accepted!

We are accepted by the Lord Jesus Christ, Who came to live and die for you. He then rose from the grave for you. He broke the power of sin and death for you. He did this so that you could have Salvation if you ask Him for it. He did this because He loves you. He did this because He accepts you if you run to Him and ask Him to. He loves you. He is the only acceptance you will ever need. He is the only Person you will ever need - and even if that seems so hard to accept, believe it. You can be accepted by the "cool" crowd - you can hang out at all the "right" places with all the "right" people - but where is that getting you in life? If anywhere, it's taking you to the wrong place. Usually the "cool" crowd isn't the "right" crowd. And the crowd that isn't "right" usually does "wrong" things. So if you do all you can to "fit in", you'll make choices you'll later regret. You'll lose good friendships. I've seen it happen, so please believe me. Be authentic. Be real. Be who you really, truly, are. Please. God made you authentic, God made you unique, God made you YOU. Don't ever, ever, think that you need to "fit in" in places and crowds where you should not be. Remember that God accepts you JUST AS YOU ARE. And when you die and meet God, your "success" here on earth isn't going to matter at all.

Live looking up. Never live in the past, continually be aware of the choices that you're making in the present, and always look forward to the future.

Break

Wow, I can't believe Christmas is only 30 days away! We went and got a Christmas tree today. I think that I definitely love having a real tree in the house over an artificial one. It smells so goood and it's so purrtyy. :]

My Thanksgiving Break is going good. Darla slept over on Thursday night so she was over all day Friday. Today I went with my family to get a Christmas tree, and then just kind of hung around the house and helped decorate the tree the rest of the day. It's so nice to have a break from school and not have to worry about doing anything. Though I do have things I want to get done before school starts back up on Wednesday. But it's just so nice to have a break.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss is doing a really good series right now called "Seeking Him". Go to her website and sign up for her emails if you want to. You can sign up to get her radio series to your email address. It's a great series. Go here to sign up for them:
http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/signup.php

"I love Jesus more than life itself"

Thankfulness

Well Thanksgiving was great [and fun]! We had a bunch of our family over. It was like 20-25 people. It was so nice, though.

I'm going to list some people and things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for everyone who I got to share my Thanksgiving Day with yesterday:
-I'm thankful for Mom, who prepared most of it and made it all happen!
-I'm thankful for Dad, who helped to get everything ready [and who did the turkey... and showed me the heart of it. Eww. Haha.]
-I'm thankful for Matthew [my brother], who yes, can annoy me at times, but I love him anyway!
-I'm thankful for Maria, my sweet little sister and best friend. <3
-I'm thankful for Mamaw. I love her so much!
-I'm thankful for Ruth, who has become like part of the family.
-I'm thankful for Schuie, who I am so thankful could spend this day with us.
-I'm thankful for Darla [my best friend]. Love you girl!
-I'm thankful for the new baby Noah, who is healthy and adorable!
I'm thankful for all of my other family/family friends.
I'm thankful for my girls at Transformed!
I'm thankful for Emily K., thank you so much for your encouragement!
I'm thankful for Ana, thank you for always sticking by me!
I'm thankful for Emily B., who God has placed in my life at a time where I really needed you! Thank you for everything, Emily.
I'm thankful for Emily S., who continues to be a good example for me of a humble, Godly, person.
I'm thankful for Moriah, who shares my love for the country! :]
I'm thankful for Lacee, who has become a good friend of mine. I'm so glad God brought us together as friends again, Lacee!
I'm thankful for ALL of my other amazing friends!
I'm thankful for my salvation.
I'm thankful for food.
I'm thankful for my house.
I'm thankful for my freedoms.
I'm thankful for those who fight for our freedoms.
I'm thankful for my health.
I'm thankful for all of the "material things" God has blessed me with.
I'm thankful for God's beautiful creation.
I'm thankful for who God created me to be, and I continue to find out exactly who that is.
I'm thankful for God's Word.
I'm thankful for inspiring, God-honoring, music.
I'm thankful for life.
I'm thankful for love.
I'm thankful for joy.
I'm thankful for friendship.
I'm thankful for good memories.

But most of all, above all of these wonderful things, I am thankful for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Who continues to guide me, lead me, and teach me. I love You, Jesus. You are my Counselor, my Redeemer, my Savior, my Best Friend. I will follow You all of the days of my life!

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you."
-John 14:2

"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
-Psalm 23:6

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
-Joshua 24:15b

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'"
-Hebrews 12:28-29

God's Guidance

Wow... I was doing school from 8 AM to 5 PM today! And I still have homework to do over the break. Speaking of break, YEAH, it's finally here!! I need a break from school so bad.

I've been a little confused lately on my music standards and my TV standards and a bunch of other "gray" areas of my life. BUT is there even "gray" areas? I don't really think that there is. I think there's just areas in our lives where we need to rely on God's guidance and discernment for what we need to do [though we should be relying on His guidance and discernment in EVERY decision, EVERY situation, etc.]. And then when we feel that God is telling us to stop doing something, we need to obey Him and stop. When we hear God's guidance, we need to listen to it. But it's in those times when I don't hear God's voice and guidance and discernment that I get confused on. Either I'm ignoring God's voice, I'm not listening for His voice, or there's something in my life that is blocking out God's voice from my life [sin]. I'm not sure which one it is. I want to find out, though, because I feel confused on decisions that I should be making in my life right now about my different morals and standards. People have so many different points-of-view and opinions that I realize I need to know what I believe and WHY and that it needs to be a Biblical, from-God, decision.

"let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance-"
-Proverbs 1:5

http://freerice.com/

Check out the above website and donate rice to those who need food by answering the questions!!

Anger

Wellll let's just say that I didn't have a very good day today. I think I woke up around 9:30. Then I did something for my mom and sister and then read my Proverbs. Then I did a couple things. And okay, here comes the sad/stupid/shameful part... I got so angry - SO ANGRY - because things weren't going right for me. I got so furious because I was unorganized and I seriously couldn't take it anymore. I think I had the kind of anger that Jesus talks about in Matthew 5:21-22, "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment." Jesus compared anger to murder! And as angry as I was today, I think you could call it a murderous anger. I hate to admit that, I really do. I haven't gotten that angry for a long time. My patience has been being tested so much lately and today I just bursted over a stupid thing.

Ephesians 4:31 says, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." I'm working on it. And I asked God to calm me down, and I was calmed down. Then my flesh took over and I got real angry AGAIN.

I was so busy today, and whenever I would try to sit down and just get on the internet, I would have to do something else. Then I had to leave. I was just so stressed out today. But then my Grandma called and said that my aunt Deanna had her baby! She had a little baby boy! He is soo adorable!! His name is Noah. I love babies. My aunt is doing great right now. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for her! Please keep praying that she will continue to have a good recovery.

"Take You Back"
by Jeremy Camp

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in You
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few

When I fall I bring Your Name down
But I have found in You
A heart that bleeds forgiveness
Replacing all these thoughts of
Painful memories
But I know that
Your response will always be

"I'll take you back.
Always.
Even when your fight is over now,
Even when your fight is over now,
I'll take you back.
Always.
Even when the pain is coming through,
Even when the pain is coming through,
I'll take you back."

You satisfy this cry
Of what I'm lookin' for
And I'll take all I can
And lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now
That radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that
Erases all these faults that
Have overtaken me
But I know that
Your response will always be,

"I'll take you back
Always.
Even when your fight is over now,
Even when your fight is over now,
I'll take you back.
Always.
Even when the pain is coming through,
Even when the pain is coming through,
I'll take you back."

I can only speak with a grateful heart,
As I'm pierced by this gift of Your love.
I will always bring an offering.
I can never thank You enough.

You take me back,
Always.
Even when my fight is over now,
Even when my fight is over now,
You take me back.
Always.
Even when my pain is coming through,
Even when my pain is coming through,
You take me back.
Always.
Even when my fight is over now,
Even when my fight is over now,
You take me back.
Always.
Even when my pain is coming through,
Even when my pain is coming through,
You take me back.

Anxiety About the Future

I woke up around 9:20 this morning and missed one of my classes. I was so exhausted. I went to one of my classes and then went back to sleep around 11:00 and slept until around 12:30. Then I ate lunch and baked cookies. Then I caught up on my classes that I missed. I'm sick, so the rest that I got I did need. God has been working with me in the area of hurry sickness [read the post "Hurry Sickness"] in that way [I just took the time to let my body rest] and in other ways throughout the day today. My mom, my sister, and me went shopping tonight and we were at a busy intersection and for some reason the light would NOT turn green. I think something was wrong with the light. But neither of us got mad or even impatient [me and my mom are both trying to work on this] which was kinda surprising. We just turned left when the left arrow [which was the only light that would let us go] turned yellow for us to go... So then we had to go around and get to where we were going a different way. But something one of my old teachers used to say about getting behind a slow driver, "Whenever I get behind a slow driver, I think about the person in front of me being an angel from God, protecting me." Because think about it; Maybe if you hadn't of gotten behind that slow driver you would've gotten in an accident farther up the road.

Something else that God worked on me with today was my self-image. I felt awful today because I'm sick and exhausted. So I didn't feel too pretty haha. But God kept reminding me about what I've been reading about in "The Truth About Guys" book [read previous post] and how I'm valuable and beautiful and outside looks are NOT all that matter!

We actually didn't have Bible Study tonight because I wasn't feeling well and it's at my house... and Darla was sick, too. Ana and Emily K. couldn't make it either, so I think it was better to just skip this week. I would have loved to have it, and I didn't want to cancel it, but I was going to be leading this week and I was so tired and everything. I am feeling better, though!

I got some Christmas shopping done tonight. I can't believe there's only 35 days left until Christmas! It seems like Christmas was just over! The years go so fast anymore.

Which brings me to another point - I really have no idea what my future holds. I could worry and worry and worry about it, but I realize that that is just a waste of my time, my energy, and my emotions.

Jesus tells us not to worry [Matthew 6:34].
Jesus tells us that He will give us the desires of our hearts if we delight ourselves in Him [Psalm 37:4].
Jesus tells us that He knows the plans He has for us[Jeremiah 29:11].
Jesus says that He will work out the plans for our lives [Psalm 138:8].
Jesus says that everything works together for those who love Him and to those who are called according to His purpose [Romans 8:28].
Jesus says to cast all of our anxiety on Him, because He cares for us [1 Peter 5:7].

So why worry? I have no reason - no reason - to worry. God is in control.

Self-Worth

Well the skit at church got cancelled this morning because one of the girls got sick. I was glad, though, because I wasn't feeling very well, either. I think I'm sick, too. So yeah, I guess we weren't meant to do it this morning.
All of the girls who went to The Revolve Tour went up on stage and Sally, Carrie's mom, read the responses that some of us wrote up about what we learned from The Revolve Tour. Then they showed a slideshow of the pictures of us and pictures that some of us took while we were there. I liked the slideshow... "Held" by Natalie Grant was playing in the background. I love that song.

Well, I'm reading a book called "The Truth About Guys". I got it at The Revolve Tour, and it is such a great book. I thought I'd share some quotes and verses from the book with you guys.

It was talking about how if you don't like who you are, nobody else will either. You need to realize that you are valuable.

"Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too."
-Thomas Fuller

"Look in the mirror and one thing is sure; what we see is not who we are."
-Richard Bach

"Behavior is a mirror in which everyone displays his own image."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We all have our own character traits and personality traits that make us who we are. It really is true that our inner self and our inner beauty defines what we look like on the outside. Have you ever seen someone who you thought was beautiful, then you heard her interact with someone else and you saw how rude and just plain ignorant she was? It makes her appear ugly. Or have you seen someone who doesn't appear to be very attractive, but then you interact with her and see how pleasant and sweet she is, and you realize that she really is pretty. I know that this has happened to me more than once, and I realize that people have also defined me by my character and personality. It really is the inner beauty that counts; believe it.

"To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."
-Anonymous

"You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are ...your simple presence can make others happy."
-Jane Roberts

The book was talking about how we need to realize that we are valuable. We need to accept ourselves for who we are, because God has made us who we are. So go ahead, say the following out loud to yourself right now:

God has made me unique. God has made me different from any other person on this earth that has ever been created. I am a unique creation. I am God's creation. I am valuable. I am beautiful. I don't need to try to change who I am to be accepted, because I am accepted - by God. And God's acceptance is all that I need. I am unique. I am beautiful. I am valuable. And from now on, I will believe that I am unique, beautiful, and valuable.

"You made my whole being; You formed me in my mother's body. I praise You because You made me in an amazing and wonderful way."
-Psalm 139:13-14

I encourage all of you girls out there to read the book "The Truth About Guys" by Chad Eastham. It has so much good stuff in it about guys and about your self-worth as a girl. I have the book, so if you would like to borrow it from me, let me know.

Fun Times

Last night around 6:00 I went to Moriah's house for a sleepover with Lacee, Ana, Darla, Carrie, and Emily. It was funn. We ate pizza and homemade icecream [which by the way was really good Moriah!] and made smores [Mmm]. We watched Ratatouille [not sure if I spelled that right haha] which is a cute movie. :] Then we played MadGab which was really funny. Then later we played Graveyard and Night Crawler, which was lots of fun. Night Crawler is really fun because it's in the dark. Anyway, later we watched "She's the Man" and went to sleep [that movie wasn't the best movie ever... but it was kinda cute]. We went to sleep around 2:00-2:30 AM.
This morning we ate breakfast and kinda just hung out... then Moriah, Carrie, and me went to skit practice at church. That was fun, even though I felt like I was half asleep. I couldn't remember some of my lines so I had to use my script. I need to memorize all of my lines for tomorrow morning. If you remember, it'd be great if you could pray for us all tomorrow morning because tomorrow is the skit. It's a hilarious skit, so it won't be too tense, but this is the first skit I've ever been in. The only reason I'm in DRAMA this year is because I figured I'd try something new. I'm glad I decided to do it, though. It's fun, but I am a little nervous about tomorrow morning. I hope I don't trip and fall or forget my lines or something! I am very clumsy... Haha.
I went back to Carrie's house for about a half an hour, then went a couple places with Mom and then came home and put my stuff away and got on here. I am so exhausted! But I am very thankful for the friends that God has put in my life and that we can have fun times like that.
My friends are amazing... love you girls!

Something happened today that was just an answer to prayer for me. It may not turn out the way that I would like, but I asked for God's will to be done, and that's what I want to happen. I am so thankful for God's amazing goodness and grace and holiness and sovereignty and love! He knows the plans of my life and He will fulfill His purpose for me! What an amazing, incredible, reassuring promise!

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"
-Jeremiah 29:11

"The Lord will work out His plans for my life—
for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for You made me."
-Psalm 138:8

Learning Something New

Well, God definitely helped me up this morning! I got up at 6:00 [which is early for me], read my Proverbs and did a couple things, got ready, and then did school from 8-12. I actually learned in school today! Not that I never do, because I usually do. But I was really alert and awake. Usually I'm off day-dreaming, and I did a couple times today, but overall it was great.
In Biology I learned about osmosis and about the cell being either isotonic, hypertonic, or hypotonic. Yeah, I know, I don't love all these terms either.
In English we're going over Edgar Allan Poe's story, "The Cask of Amontillado", so we were reviewing that. Weeiiirdd story.
In World Cultures we're learning about Europe [yay]! Today we were learning about Ancient Greece and the Romans.
In Algebra we were reviewing the FOIL method and then we learned about this square method thing... I understand it, but I forget what the method is called. Haha I can't remember ALL the terms!
In Spanish we took a quiz with someone else, so that was great. I was with Ben, and he's really good at Spanish, so that went well. We got all of the points! We also learned about irregular verbs in the preterite tense [like dar, ser, ir, and ver].

I still haven't gotten caught up in my extra classes I took this year. Maybe I'll be able to over Thanksgiving Break, but I doubt it.

Well I took my Algebra quiz already, so I don't have much more homework to do this weekend. I am so glad. I am so glad it's Friday!

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts."
-Psalm 139:23

Training Before Trying

Well this morning I woke up at 5:00, did my Proverbs with so much joy, prayed for an hour... No, that's not really how my day went. I woke up around 9:00, did my Proverbs, did some stuff, did school... I got done my homework a little after 12:00 though, which is unusual for me. I didn't do any of my subjects that I'm behind in, though. I should have, but I didn't. I ate lunch, practiced piano, wrote some of the Transformed Newsletter, went to piano lessons, went and got my hair cut [it's not very different, though, but I'm glad I got it cut], then came home and ate dinner and did some random things... then I left again. I got home around 9:00 and got on here. So yeah, that was pretty much my day today. But of course it went much deeper than that.
Like for instance, the music thing -- I was getting my hair cut and I heard songs that my friends like and that I used to like. It's so hard to give up something for Christ, but I know it's worth it.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.'"
-Matthew 16:24

Oh, and another thing... the whole "looks" thing. This world is so full of lies, and I have given in to those lies. I feel like I need to have the right figure, the right hair, the right face, the right clothes, etc. Why does the world feed me those lies? And why do I give in to them? I've been trying not to, but I need to be trying so, so much harder. But I've learnt in the women's Sunday School class I go to every Sunday morning that I need to TRAIN and then TRY. Because just "trying" isn't going to accomplish anything unless you have trained for it. Think about it; what if you were called to be in the Olympics and you had never in your life trained for what you were going to be doing there? You can't just go and "try" without first training - unless, of course, you want to look like a fool in front of the entire world. It works the same in your journey with Christ [even the fool part. If you tell people you are a Christian, but then you continue in your old sinful ways, you will appear to be a fool to those around you. And God will also call that foolish.] You must train to be Godly. You must train to be humble. You must train to be joyful. You must train to be more like Christ. If you just try, you will most likely fail. So how do you train? Well, that depends on the situation, but asking God for help is always an important part of it. In my situation with my looks, I must train by praying that God will help me in this situation, and then when I go out into the world, I must pray everytime I start to compare myself to someone else. Eventually, with God's help, I will overcome my struggle with this. I thought I was almost over it, but it doesn't seem like I am. I can't even believe I'm posting this on here for everyone to see... but I want to be honest. I don't want to hide anything.

So here's me... And even though I do NOT want to be vulnerable and open, I do want to be transparent. I want people to know who I truly am. And that is something that God is really helping me with.

Cutting off From Sin

"Repentance is a definite turn from every thought, word, deed and habit which is known to be wrong. It is not sufficient to feel pangs of remorse or to make some kind of apology to God. Fundamentally, repentance is a matter neither of emotion nor of speech. It is an inward change of mind and attitude towards sin which leads to a change of behaviour.
"There can be no compromise here. There may be sins in our lives which we do not think we ever could renounce; but we must be willing to let them go as we cry to God for deliverance from them. If you are in doubt regarding what is right and what is wrong, what must go and what may be retained, do not be too greatly influenced by the customs and conventions of Christians you may know. Go by the clear teaching of the Bible and by the prompting of your conscience, and Christ will gradually lead you further along the path of righteousness. When He puts His finger on anything, give it up. It may be some association or recreation, some literature we read, or some attitude of pride, jealousy or resentment, or an unforgiving spirit.
"Jesus told His followers to pluck out their eye and cut off their hand or foot if these caused them to sin. We are not to obey this with dead literalism, of course, and mutilate our bodies. It is a vivid figure of speech for dealing ruthlessly with the avenues along which temptation comes to us."
-John Stott

Nancy Leigh DeMoss was talking about the verses in Mark 9:43-47 where it talks about gouging out your eye if it causes you to sin and cutting off your arm or foot if it causes you to sin. Of course, Jesus didn't mean to literally cut off your arm or foot or to gouge out your eye. He wouldn't tell us to mutilate the bodies He gave us. What He means by these verses is to cut yourself off from everything that causes you to sin. Yeah, you may have to give up your favorite TV show. Yeah, you might need to stop listening to your favorite kinds of music. Yeah, you might have to stop going where you love to go. Yeah, you may even need to give up friendships. But you know what? It is so worth it to give things up for God. At the time it may not seem worth it at all, but it is. It is so worth it. Jesus died for us [and rose again, breaking the power of sin and death for us!] so why can't we give up things for Him? It makes you feel so free when you give up things for God. It feels so refreshing to obey God.

That explains my new Blogger. My old one got deleted as I was deleting something else that I knew I needed to get rid of. God had prompted me to get rid of the thing, and I didn't want to do it at all. I was about to just not do it because I knew my Blogger would be deleted and I had posts on there that I didn't want to get deleted. But I did delete it. I knew that I had to. And I felt so free afterwards. And guess what? As I was trying to log in with my other email address, I found my old blog [the one where I have some of my articles and devotions on]! I thought that had gotten deleted or lost somewhere when Blogger changed. But it's still there! If you want to look at it, click on my profile, and the blog should be listed there.

I posted all of my other posts from my old blog onto here, so read them if you want to. I have been learning so much lately and I wanted to share it with you. So please, read them if you have time.

The Beauty of God
Knowing the beauty of God is sunshine on a cloudy day,
to know that a living God sits upon the throne and guides my way.
God never promised that life would be easy all the time,
But He did promise that He would hold my hand during the rough climb.
And His promise gives me hope - even if just a ray.

Getting through life is no easy thing,
but God promises His Bride - the Church - a wedding ring.
I hold His promises deep in my heart - they are mine.
And knowing the beauty of God is sunshine on a cloudy day.

Losses, pain, and hopelessness; I can only pray
that God will deliver me - and if not right away
then I need to learn to trust - God knows best.
Though life is hard to understand, yes, God knows my stay
on earth is hard; it's no easy thing.
And that's why knowing the beauty of God is sunshine on a cloudy day.
-Me

REAL

Well, let's just say that my day wasn't all that great today. I got up late, did my Proverbs while I was annoyed and angry, and didn't get caught up in the subjects I was behind in. I didn't even do them at all. Then I got down about one of my close friends because of something... and I am so tired. Then as I was going through my music on my music player and deleting songs that I used to really like but I know I shouldn't listen to anymore, I felt so... I don't know, just so sad. I hate change, but it's like my life is always constantly changing. But even in the midst of my not-so-great day, I was happy. I said to my mom, "Do you ever feel happy even when you're having a bad day?" And she said, "Yes. It's that inner joy. It's God. It has to be... I don't see how people live without Him." And I don't either.

I want to try to learn something new everyday either about myself, about God, or just about life. I'll try to post about it every day on here.

Something I've been thinking about is people who are down and depressed... a lot of them like that feeling of having self-pity and being depressed and so they feed the depression by listening to depressing music, thinking really hard about things, etc. I've found myself doing it more than once. But it should not be that way! If I am feeling down, I should be listening to encouraging, up-lifting music. I should be praying to God and asking Him to lift me out of the pit of sorrow and depression that I'm in and hold me in His arms. I should be thanking Him for the amazing God that He is. I've been trying to do that more lately, and it works... it definitely helps. Life is hard, but even in the midst of pain, sorrow, depression, stress, etc. I can have joy! In all things and in all situations, I can have that inner joy and peace that only comes from Christ. Okay, yeah, I know, some situations are painful and terrifying and it seems impossible to be able to have joy. So call out to God in those situations and ask Him to give you that joy and that peace. Just call out to Him. He does hear you.

I guess that's the reason Christian music that have lyrics talking about no one being out there annoy me. Because there is Someone out there. There is Someone out there Who cares. There is Someone out there Who loves. There is Someone out there Who will hold you in His arms. And that Someone is God.

I want to encourage you to be REAL. When you go out into the world, full of its different kind of people, be real. Don't change who you are based on where you are.

Natalie Grant put it this way at the Revolve Tour:

R - Reality Check
E - Esteem
A - Authentic
L - Live

Let me add something... You are beautiful. You are God's special creation and He loves you. Don't change who you really are. Be your unique self everywhere you go. Shine for Jesus in everything you do, in every word you say, and in everywhere you go. And please... BE REAL.

My Journey With Christ Binder

Well, I started a binder today to put things I need to get done in, different schedules for every day of the week, and Christian articles that I like [and one that I wrote]. It took me a long time, because I cut out pictures in magazines, made the front cover, made up a schedule for every day of the week, and printed out the articles. It took me a while to do that... but oh well, at least I got that done. I really hope that I'll be able to stick to my schedule without it becoming a rush thing for me. Because after Christ gently opened my heart this morning to reveal my hurry sickness [read previous post], I do not want to fall back into that disease -- that trap. So please pray for me in this area. I am a person who really does love a schedule and a routine. I work a lot better like that, and I get more done. So hopefully this works. If you would like to make a binder for yourself, you can go to this website:
http://myblessedhome.blogspot.com/2006/11/my-home-management-binder.html#article

I'm not following the website step-by-step. Actually, I'm hardly following it at all. But it gives you an outline to follow if you'd like to. It's actually called a "Home Maker's Binder" on there, but since I'm not a home maker, I call mine "My Journey With Christ Binder." I think it fits lots better for me.
Thank you Emily for the idea!

Hurry Sickness

Wow. I'm reading a book for Sunday School called, "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg. It is such a great book. And I'm reading a chapter right now called "An Unhurried Life". It hits home for me so well and so I thought that I would share with you as I read and discover for myself.

There's a quote at the beginning of the chapter that says, "People nowadays take time far more seriously than eternity." -Thomas Kelly

The chapter talks about a disease: Hurry Sickness. Of course it's not a real disease, but I believe that it can affect you physically as well as spiritually and emotionally. I know this from experience, and it is a "disease" that will make you depressed, discouraged, and exhausted.
The symptoms of this disease are:

-Constantly speeding up daily activities. Throughout the day, I find myself trying to read faster, talk faster, try to make others talk faster so I can get on with what I was doing, rushing from one thing to the next. And my next confession is a very sad one. I would even feel guilty when I was doing nothing for five minutes. If I would just sit down and do nothing, or even sit down to talk to my family I would feel guilty because I was not doing what I thought needed to be done!

-Multi-Tasking. I do this all the time. I listen to music and do homework at the same time. I talk on the phone and only half-listen to whoever I'm on the phone with because I'm doing something else (checking emails, getting on websites, talking to about five other people on IM, etc.). And I've found that when I do that, it effects other areas of my life. I can't concentrate in school because I'm thinking about what I need to do. I can't concentrate in church or youth group or Bible Study because I'm thinking about what I'm doing after church or youth group or I'm thinking about what to say next in Bible Study. I cannot just think about one thing. I cannot just do one thing. It's not healthy. It effects so much of my life negatively. I don't learn anything because I'm thinking about 10 other things while I'm listening to my pastor or while I'm listening to my youth leaders or while I'm trying to think about what to say next at Bible Study or when I'm trying to learn from my teachers and instead I'm thinking about how much I have to do.

-Clutter. This defines me so much. I keep everything. I can't get rid of childhood memories. I have my own drawer full of things that I can't get rid of because they mean something to me. I basically have my own corner of the attic with things that I can't get rid of because I can't let go of anything from my childhood. My closet is full of things that I'll never use, but I can't get rid of them. I've been like this all of my life. The other day I went through my drawer and actually got rid of some things and condensed some things. Another thing is my lists of books I'd like to read. When I don't get to read them, I feel guilty. I feel guilty all the time because I feel that if I'm not doing something I'm wasting precious time. But did I ever think that maybe it is healthy to take a break during the day instead of going through the whole day, rushing through everything and then not getting enough sleep at night?

-Superficiality. I have traded precious wisdom for information. At the beginning of the month I started reading Proverbs because I want to have wisdom about things in life. I don't just want information about things, I want to have wisdom to percieve those things.

-An inability to love. Love and hurry do not go together. Love takes time. People who hurry and rush through everything don't take the time to love others - through their actions, words, and conversations. I have found this so evident in my hurried life. I hurry through everything, then feel guilty afterwards that I didn't take the time to love that stranger by smiling at them, or that I didn't take the time to love my family by spending time with them, or that I didn't take the time to love my friends by giving them advice when they need it and talking to them about things they're struggling with. But you know what? Time is precious. Not precious in the way that I-need-to-hurry-because-time-is-precious-and-it's-ticking-away. But in this way: Time is precious, and therefore I should spend every second wisely, by loving others, by learning something new every day, by spending time with God without rushing through my Bible reading or prayers, by enjoying God's Creation by taking a walk, by doing my best in school, by spending time with my family, by talking with my friends, by smiling at strangers, by lending a helping hand to those in need.

-Sunset Fatigue. This refers to the end of the day when you may be stressed out and exhausted by the hurried day you just had, so you give your family and friends the "left-overs" of love. Some ways to define "sunset fatigue" would be this: [these come from the book]
-You find yourself rushing even when there's no reason to;
-There is an underlying tension that causes sharp words or sibling quarrels;
-You set up mock races that are really about your own need to get through it [he gave the example of having his kids race to see who could get their baths the fastest so it would get done faster];
-You sense a loss of gratitude and wonder;
-You indulge in self-destructive escapes from fatigue: abusing alcohol, watching too much TV, etc.

Jesus never hurried. He was busy, yes, but he never hurried. He took the time to show the people around Him His love. He went away to be quiet before His Father - God. So why do we hurry and rush through our days? We can't move faster than the One we are following.

"The press of busyness is like a charm. Its power swells... it reaches out seeking always to lay hold of ever-younger victims so that childhood and youth are scarcely allowed the quiet and the retirement in which the Eternal may unfold a divine growth." -Kierkegaard

As the book says, "The truth is, as much as we complain about it, we are drawn to hurry. It makes us feel important. It keeps the adrenaline pumping. It means we don't have to look too closely at the heart or life. It keeps us from feeling our loneliness." How true! How relevant in my life!

A good thing to do at the end of the day to help you with your hurry sickness, and to help you even if you don't neccessarily struggle with this, is to review your day with God. Pastor Bill has said before that the day doesn't begin in the morning, it begins in the evening [from Genesis 1:5, "The evening and the morning were the first day".]

[The following comes from the book, but I've paraphrased it and added a little to it.]
1. Be still before God [Psalm 46:10]. Quiet your mind.
2. Acknowledge Jesus' presence and invite Him to teach you.
3. Re-play the events of your day, as painful or shameful as they may be. Pray as you are lead for forgivness, more love for others, more courage, more patience, etc.
4. If you are led to pray for the people you have interacted with that day [even if they are complete strangers], do so.
5. End with a prayer of thanksgiving to God for His mercy and love. Ask Him to refresh you as you sleep.

Discoveries in Ecclesiastes

Well, I've been learning a lot lately. Last night I was reading Ecclesiastes and I couldn't stop reading! So I ended up reading the whole book. I think it's my favorite book of the Bible now. It applies to my life so well. It talks about how we all live and die and how life is so worthless... and without Christ, our life is worthless.
But I think what really stuck out to me were these verses:

"Anything I wanted, I took. I did not restrain myself from any joy. I even found great pleasure in hard work, an additional reward for all my labors. But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless. It was like chasing the wind. There was really nothing worthwhile anywhere." -Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

I know that working hard is a good thing, but what I really thought about was working so hard at something that is not worthwhile. I've been filling my life with things that are not neccessary. Things that I thought were, but they have only been stressing me out. And if God is at the center of everything that I do, then I know that it won't stress me out. It'll be challenging, yes. But not stressful, not exhausting -- but refreshing.

"So I turned in despair from hard work. It was not the answer to my search for satisfaction in this life." - Ecclesiastes 2:20
(Make sure you don't take that the wrong way, though. God wants us to work hard at everything we do. "Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." - Colossians 3:23)

"I discovered that God created people to be upright, but they have each turned to follow their own downward path." - Ecclesiastes 7:29

^ How often do I see that being portrayed in so many people's lives around me (and even in my own life sometimes). It is so sad to see good friends and family members walk away, slowly, step-by-step, away from their Savior. They will soon find, though, that the path they have chosen over God's path is worthless. I know people who have been on both paths, and they say that there is nothing for them on the wrong path. Following Christ makes life worthwhile. It makes cause for joy, to know that God walks with me through all of my situations. It gives me a peace, to know that God forgives and forgets and that my life is in His hands.

"Those who are wise will find a time and a way to do what is right." - Ecclesiastes 8:5b

I need to remember that so often in my life. It is so easy to just do what is wrong and then ask for forgiveness for it later. But that is playing with God's grace. And that is a very dangerous, and wrong, thing to do. I want to do what is right, all the time. I want to do things God's way. I want to reflect Christ in all I do and say. But that is so hard when I am around people who are negative. It is so hard when I am around people who are slowly walking down the wrong path. It is so hard when I am around people who think they are so much better than me. It is so hard. But "those who are wise will find a time and a way to do what is right". I need to always remember that -- especially in compromising situations.

And in the final verses of the book of Ecclesiastes --
"Here is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey His commands, for this is the duty of every person. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad." - Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

And that should be on my mind at all times. I need to remember that everything I do will be taken into account when I stand before God. I am so so grateful for God's amazing grace, or I would be terrified to stand before God's holy throne. Though I do fear standing before God's Throne, it is only because He is such a holy, perfect, awesome, all-powerful God. But because I have accepted His free gift of Salvation and because I follow Him, I don't need to be afraid that I will be thrown into the depths of hell -- because I will be led through the gates of Heaven to be with my Lord Jesus Christ. I am awed at that thought! At that truth!

I just thought that I would share with you what I have been learning lately. And I encourage you to read the book of Ecclesiastes. It's a good book.
Well this morning the Wissmann's visited our church. If you don't know who they are, they're a family of 15 (13 kids!) who travel and visit churches to sing. They are an amazing family, and it is very relevant in their lives that they live for Christ. It is so encouraging to see a family living for God the way that they are.

So, as I strive to become more and more like Christ, I would encourage you to do the same. If any of you need to talk about anything, I'm here. I don't know all of the answers, but I will definitely try to help you.

Gifts

Well this morning I got up at 6:00, got a shower and got ready, ate breakfast, and THEN read Proverbs 10. I realize that I need to put God first in my day, but I was really low on time (my friend picked me up around 6:45 and so I just thought about myself first. :[). Then I went with my friend to her church to help out with the senior citizens. Her church collected a bunch of stuff to give out to senior citizens who don't have a lot of money like to buy things for Christmas and stuff. So basically I guess it's kind of our Christmas gifts to them. But it was nice. They were giving out groceries, clothes, quilts, jewelry, wall pictures, books, etc. and even had a free brunch for them. Me and Ana worked two tables -- the craft table and the pictures table. We gave them a bag to put their stuff in, told them what to do and where to go, helped them with their stuff... I helped two ladies out to their cars and got to talk to some older people. It was just nice. I love older people and as of now, I really think that God wants me to work with older people as my career. Ever since I was 10 I've wanted to be a nurse. And I've always loved older people. So it makes sense. But I want what God wants for me, so we'll see if He calls me somewhere else later on in my life.

You know, Christmas gifts are much more than just tangible things. True gifts come from the heart. If you spend time with older people in a nursing home or doing something like I did today for them, then I think that's a gift to them. The same goes with your family and your friends. If you're giving a gift just to give a gift and get it over with, then it's not coming from your heart and it's not truly a gift. And remember the greatest Gift of all, which is what Christmas is really about -- Jesus Christ and the reason He came to this earth -- YOU. He offers each and every one of us the gift of Salvation and we should be telling others about this Gift and about God's amazing grace! Just something to think about since Christmas is soon here.

Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.