Decisions, decisions, decisions! I don't like them and I have a hard time making them. Yet life is full of them. Every single day is full of decisions. Sometimes I think I make the right one but it all turns around on me. Other times I deliberately make the wrong one and pay for the consequences. And then there is that still, small voice inside of my heart that rises above all of the conflicts within me that says, "Stop. Listen to Me. Just obey me and everything will work out."
You'd think I'd just listen to that voice. But I am a stubborn person and usually just decide to do what I want to do. And where does that get me? Usually farther back then when I started.
My pastor's message today really spoke to my heart. It made me realize that I am not living for myself. My decisions affect those in my sphere of influence - my family, my friends, even acquaintances. So I need to make tough, hard, good decisions.
Sometimes I wonder if I make my life harder than what it really is. Am I too uptight? Too "good"? Too "Christian"? Or do people just make me feel that way? Where do I draw the line? And what is too close to the line? What is crossing the line? How do I know what is right in situations?
How can I be on fire for God without becoming legalistic like I used to be? Why can't I just live like everyone else? Yes, I have a high calling and I realize that. God has called me to be so much more than this world in which I live, just like He's called you to be so much more.
But how do I know what that is?! I know for certain that I am living for God. I know for certain that I want to live His dreams for my life. I've committed my life to God, and I am not backing out of that commitment. Never, not for anything. He is my life.
"When God created you, He created a person the world has never seen - and a person the world will never see again."
That quote that my pastor shared really got me thinking. I want to make an impact. I want to make a difference. That is a passion and a desire of mine! But sometimes I think that I am such an over-achiever that I try to do too much, I try, try, try... and fail, fail, fail. Why? Because I'm not living God's dreams! I'm trying to live my own! And it's all in vain.
It contradicts itself completely. I want to live a life that is worth something, that will make a difference and have an impact on the world. But my dreams won't do that - my dreams, no matter how big I think they are, are too small. I need to dream God's dreams. His dreams are huge, they are impacting, they make a difference.
I am here to bring glory to God. Have I been doing that? Has my life been radiating with the light of Christ?
Am I dreaming God's dreams?