Thursday, January 7, 2010

Heart on Fire

My heart is on fire. What do I do with this passion? More than that, what do I do with this holy dissatisfaction? I am very, very dissatisfied. I am not satisfied with the normal life that society is offering to me. I am not satisfied with the way that many Christians are living. I want so much more than this. I was made for more than this. This normal, American life is not what I want. It is not what I need. I find it more discouraging than satisfying. I find it more boring than exciting. It is not appealing to me at all.

Something that is really firing up this passion are Christians. I am dissatisfied. I believe that Jesus asked much more of us than what we are giving. I believe that God made us for so much more than what we are living out.

When will we ever stand up? When will we ever get out of our comfortable seats and take a stand? When will we ever get out of our fancy homes and into the dark and dirty streets? When will we ever allow ourselves to mess up our "made up" American look and sit in the dirt with the least of these? When will we ever knock down the four walls of our beautiful cathedrals and welcome the "sinners" with open arms of love?

Even if it means that we are standing alone... and yet it should not be that way. We were never made to live this life alone. That is why God calls us the Body of Christ. Christians, if we are followers of God and ambassadors of Christ as we claim to be, then we must stand together! We must stand as one Body of Christ, as the Lord intended it and created it to be!

My heart is on fire. Something must be done. What do I do with this passion? I do not want to live the normal, mundane life that Americans live. If it means that the Lord sends me to another country where the normal is to have nothing, where the mundane is to go hungry... then Lord, lead me and give me strength! Or perhaps the Lord wants me to live here, in this society... Perhaps this passion can be used here. I am trying to learn to live life with open hands, with whatever it is that the Lord has for me.

Going to college out of high school, getting a successful career, getting married, having kids, buying a house, a car, saving for retirement, retiring, and dying... Is that really what the American society has to offer me? I must kindly refuse this... this is not what I was born for. This, my fellow Americans, is not what I want.

Lord, teach me more of what it means to follow You. Teach me more of what it means to see this world through Your eyes. Teach me more of what it means to live life with open hands. Teach me to follow You and to never run ahead of You. I never want to be able to look back and see Your face. Please, go ahead of me and lead me always...

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