So it's been quite a while since I've updated... but God has been teaching me so, so much lately! As Sanctus Real's song, "Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)" quotes:
"Whatever You're doing inside of me,
It feels like chaos, yet somehow there's peace.
And though it's hard to surrender to what I can't see,
I'm giving into something heavenly."
God has been teaching me so much about myself lately. It is a very painful and stretching process, but yet at the same time I know that there is no other worthwhile way to live then to live striving to bring honor to God and His Holy Name.
I just recently came back from a three-week long missions trip about 8,000 miles away from home. As I write that, I almost can't believe my own written words. I would have never, ever, ever even considered doing something like that! Ever! I had so many fears before leaving that I thought were going to take me over... I felt like giving up and deciding not to go. I knew, though, that God had called me on a Mission ~ and I didn't want to miss it. Looking back, I am so glad that I went and answered the Call. It was probably three of the most stretching and draining weeks of my life, but I would so do it all over again.
I didn't come back on a spiritual high. I didn't come back feeling as though I had just had a mountaintop experience. I felt drained - emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I had a lot to process and, at first, I was too tired to even try to process it all. I am still processing everything and God is still teaching me things from it.
One thing He has been teaching me is that nothing is impossible. He asked me to do something impossible for me to do ~ so that He could show me how possible He is! He is awesome! He has been showing Himself to me lately in so many ways... and I think it's because my eyes are opened more to Him. It is so easy to fall into complacency and the rat-race of this culture and become blinded to Him and His Beauty and His beautiful plan and design! When I come to understand even a small part of it, it blows me away. Plain and simple, He is just awesome!
God has huge plans for each and every one of us. All we have to do is follow them. The road may be hard, but it is all so much more than worth it. There is always, always something to learn and no one is perfect... but living life for Christ is just unexplainable... Getting to know Him is just beautiful... Letting Him teach you things about yourself is a challenge, but very humbling... Living life on the straight and narrow is hard, because it's easy to get off balance ~ but nothing -NOTHING - can separate you from the Father's Love... and falling in love with the Father is unexplainable. I don't deserve to be able to get to know Him, but He loves us so much that He even wants to get to know us! It's just not comprehendable for me... but I suppose I don't need to completely understand God's Will to follow it! If so, I could be sitting around for quite a while, waiting around for every last detail to fall into place!
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."
Could you imagine what this world would be like if we all really, truly believed that?