Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Suffocating Soul in a Dry and Barren Land

As you can see, I've decided to change my blog around a bit... and have decided to be a little more honest with it. I get a lot of inspiration from Katie's blog( and encourage you to go there and read her words.

It seems as though there are way too many things on my mind and on my heart to even begin writing it out. It has been almost a month since I walked off the airplane from being in Chuuk, Micronesia (8,000 miles away from home) onto the soil of America. There really don't seem to be words to describe how I felt about this. I was exhausted from the long hours of traveling, yet excited to see my family waiting for me in the airport.

I think it is just now hitting me that the trip is over ~ the long nights on the beach playing with the children, the great hospitality of the people of this small island, a little girl named Jerlyn teaching me Chuukese words and phrases, long hours of camps playing games, making crafts, teaching them Bible stories, teaching them English, the dance lessons from the children and adults in the church's pavilion, the love and gratefulness of the people...

America is different and for many weeks I experienced a culture shock. The clothes worn by teenage girls in America were so different from the long, beautiful, hand-made skirts worn by the women in Chuuk. The gratefulness and hospitality of the people of Chuuk puts to shame our stingy, ungrateful and selfish hearts. I suppose my eyes have never been opened this much.

We are a blind and complacent country. I am speaking to myself, and it saddens my heart. It is as if my soul is suffocating in this dry and barren land.

I can still see the children as they reached their little hands into the cooler to get out a bottle of water or whatever was available. There was one day where we had no water at all. I didn't hear a complaint from any of the children on the hot, exhausting day.

I can still see the big smile on Jerlyn's face as, another day, she carried my water bottle on our entire two-hour hike through the mountains of the island, joyfully. After asking her if she would like me to carry it or if she would like any of it, she said with a big smile, "No" and continued to walk beside me, hand-in-hand.

I can still see her sweet face as she tried to teach me words in her native language... "Now you say..." and she would tell me a phrase and ask me to repeat it. She was very patient with me and laughed joyfully at my mistakes.

I can still see Shawn, Mahlie, Winston, Welson, Wilson, Stevee, Esra, and the others as they played with us on the beach ~ joyfully and without a care in the world... as the sun began to set behind the distant islands and the sky turned a vibrant red, then softer, then dark.

I can still see the joy and excitement in little LuAnn's eyes as she saw me and sang out, "Molly, Molly!" I can still see the love in little Ann's eyes and the joy in Ervian's.

When I come back to America and all I can see is the true poverty of our hearts ~ the dry, yet content, state of the way that we are living... I experience an intense battle in my heart. I do not want to live like this. And I believe with all my heart that I don't have to.

Those children taught me what it really means to love... What it really means to live life with passion... What it really means to laugh with genuine joy.

I don't believe that I could have ever blessed or changed their lives as much as they have blessed and changed mine.

And I believe with all my heart that there are great things still to be done ~ here and anywhere that the Lord leads me... and you.

"I can do everything through Him Who strengthens me."
-Philippians 4:13


Darla said...

Molly your post was amazing. And I agree with you a hundred percent on all that you said. I miss the Chuukese people and their simplicity. How they can make so much out of nothing. They are all so beautiful. And I'm so excited to see where God has to take us. And how he is going to keep stretching us, and teaching us still things about our trip.
Love you
P.S. Your an amazing writer. I really really missed it when I read this post.

Lindsey said...

oh wow Molly, i loved this one too. It made me cry. Your blog is helping me with this "facebook fast" Love you!