I got a bad start on my day today. I woke up really late and then got mad about it. I still did my devotions, though... and I didn't have much school to do since I did most of it yesterday. I did my school later tonight, since I didn't have much time before piano lessons to do it.
Something I struggled with today was wishing - no, more than that... desiring - things in my life that I don't have. Not so much "material things", more like people and friendships. Last night I had a dream about someone and I woke up desiring that it was true. I was dissappointed. I was frustrated. Then later today I got this deep desire for something else to happen in my life and if I would've let myself, I could've gotten depressed over it. I realized, though, that what I was desiring was so selfish. So I stopped my thoughts and prayed. I realized that I was being selfish and foolish. I realized that I needed to trust God with the situation, because He has ultimate control over it. And so I stopped my thoughts as they were quickly turning into sadness and on the way towards depression, and I said, "Lord, I'm sorry. You have control. Please help me." A simple prayer like that, and yet it helped so much. I didn't feel the same way about the situation the rest of the day. Now, I easily could have, since God gives us a free will and He lets us think whatever we want to [but we still have to pay consequences for the sin that we do]. But when I realized that what I desired was so selfish and that everything is under God's control and that I can trust Him, I have no reason to need to desire anything in this life except what God wants for me.
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need."
Seek God first. Put God first, above all else. Put God's Kingdom above everything in your life. He will give you the things that you need, He will give you the Godly relationships that you need, He will give you the Godly friendships that you need, He will give you the job that you need, and in His time and if it's in His plans, He will give you that guy or girl that you think you need right now. He will give you everything that you need if you put Him above everything else. Everything you need. No, not everything that you want or everything that you think you need. God knows what you need. He knows what you need better than you know what you need. We sometimes confuse what we think we need with what we really need in our lives. But God knows what we really need. God knows who we need. And He will give you everything that you need if you seek Him and His Kingdom first in your life and if you live for Him. You can trust Him with that.
God knows the desires of your heart, too. He knows the deepest desires of your heart that no one else knows about. He delights in giving His children what they desire - if it lines up with His will and with His plans. But keep in mind, if you are trying to live for God in every aspect of your life, then you're going to desire what God desires. And God will want to give you what you desire. He delights in seeing His children having joy and peace with their life. And even when everything around you seems to be crumbling, you can have peace that you have a God who cares. And you can look up to Him and you can give all of your burdens, all of your worries, all of your desires, all of your wishes, all of your dreams, to Him. I'm sure that when God sees His children humbly coming to Him and giving Him all of their burdens and all of their deepest dreams in their heart - I'm sure He delights in that. So delight yourself in the Lord. Make Him your number one priority. Put Him above all else. Seek Him and His Kingdom first, before anything. Live in a way that honors and pleases God. And when you do that, you'll see that your dreams and your desires will line up with God's dreams and desires for you - because you'll desire what God desires. You'll have dreams that you have never had before, because you will want God's dreams. And I am sure that that is a very fulfilling and very satisfying way to live your life.
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."