Saturday, December 1, 2007

Another Step in the Journey

Well, it's December 1st... a new month. This morning I was trying to think of something I could do - a goal I could try to reach - this month, but I decided that trying to keep on track with God and continuing to find out more about Him and myself would be enough. I think I'm going to make up a new schedule, new plans, new goals, and maybe even new dreams for the New Year. But for now - for the rest of this year - I'm going to try to get closer to God and get out of this slump that I'm in.

I think I found the reason for the "valley" that I'm in right now. Well, for one thing, because it's all a part of growing in Christ. I need to be in these valleys in order to get on top of the mountains where I love to be with God. but if life was only full of "highs" and "mountains" with God, then there would be no growth. I would never grow in my relationship with God if I never experienced hardships, trials, pain, etc. I would never find a reason to rely on God with my whole entire life and being. But I think another reason that I'm in this valley is because I'm stressing myself out over doing devotions at a certain time, praying at a certain time, etc. Yes, I am reading a chapter of Proverbs in the morning and my devotions at night. I listen to or read devotions throughout the day sometimes, too. I listen to inspiring, Christian music. I pray throughout the day. I talk to my friends about God. But now I'm trying to set a schedule for myself. I need to get up early and pray and read the Bible. I need to do this at this time and that at that time. I need to read this devotion and sign up for that devotion. Oh, and I need to follow God's calling on my life, too... and I need to -
No, how am I going to live with joy if I put so much stress on my life? Following God is not about having stress. Yes, following God can be hard at times, but it will never be in vain if you are following Him humbly, with your whole heart, with Him leading you and you following Him. Yes, it's good to have goals. In fact, you should have goals. And you should follow God's calling on your life. But when you're putting stress on your life to try to accomplish so much at one time, you won't have joy. Follow Jesus. He'll take your stress, He'll take your burdens, He'll take your pain, He'll take your monotonous routines that you've exchanged for a relationship with Him and He'll give you a fresh, clean, start. Lay everything down at Jesus' cross.

Thank you for your encouraging words Emily B. and Emily K. [haha]. And thank you for your prayers and for being there for me.

So, I need to get out of this slump and get back on fire for God. I've been thinking a lot lately about what it really means to be in this world and not of it. That is such a hard thing to accomplish. But it can be done with God's help and God's strength. I feel like an outcast at times because of what I believe... but I guess it's good to feel like I don't belong here. Because I don't! I was called out with God's amazing grace and I am one of His own. I should be living on fire for Him. I should be following Him in every decision that I make and in everything that I do! And if that means giving up things that I love, then so be it. I just hope that I think that strongly about what I'm now saying when God does call me to give different things up for Him. He has before and I've usually always obeyed Him. But as I take more steps - that seem against the full force of the wind at times [which is satan]- through this journey, I'm thinking more into my beliefs and why I believe what I do and God has been reinforcing them and changing them. He has been changing my point-of-view on different things and has been giving me a new outlook on life and on different things. It is definitely a journey and it is definitely a journey that takes a lifetime - but it is also the journey of a lifetime.

When I listened to this song tonight, I got a picture in my mind of me carrying my "cross" to give everything up for God. Me going to His cross and laying everything there for Him to take. Jesus making me whole.

"Pieces" - Red
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from You
A broken mess
Just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see Your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You called my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole.
I've come undone
But You make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in Your eye
When I see Your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole.
When I see Your face
I know I'm finally Yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to You in pieces
So You can make me whole.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.'"
-Matthew 16:24

Only You can make me whole, God. And You are Who I want to follow with my whole heart, for the rest of my life and for eternity.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
-Romans 12:2

2 comments:

Ally said...

Just a comment to let you know I'm reading your blog, I always enjoy reading your bloggings. God Bless!

Emily said...

Hey Molly,
Always remember I'm praying for you! It's been a few days since you've posted...I always enjoy reading what you're learning, cause it often applies to me too!
~Em