Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Learning the True Gift of Singleness

Tonight at Life Action the guys and girls split up. The guys stayed with Wesley to talk about Biblical Masculinity and the girls went with Margo and Sarah to talk about purity. It was really encouraging to be able to talk with them. They brought in a dozen roses and with one of them Sarah tore the petals off one by one as we listed off different ways that we can give pieces of our heart away or that can mess with our emotions. Flirting, Facebook, texting, our thoughts, fantasizing, movies, music, holding hands... The list can go on and on because for one girl certain love songs can cause her to fantasize while another girl can listen to them and not be effected at all. It all depends on the girl and we know what causes us to stumble. As the rose began to lose most of its petals, Sarah asked us the question, "On your wedding day, do you want to give your husband something that looks like this? Or do you want to give him a full, beautiful rose?" I loved how they made the correlation between the rose and my heart.

Margo talked a lot about how the single years should not be taken for granted, because I will never get them back. I should set goals for my single years because I am more free to serve God in these years than I will be if I get married. My ministry will be totally different and my life will change in marriage. These single years bring great opportunities and I can't wait to see what God has in store.

I think the biggest thing that I learned tonight was something that was very freeing to me. Margo was talking about making up a list of the qualities that we want in our future husbands. She suggested that we make up a list of everything - physical traits, personality, qualities, what kinds of things you would want to do together one day, etc. Now this is something that I have been skeptical about. There are people who say that I can't do that, I'm looking for a perfect guy, I'll never find him, You can't give pieces of your heart away - the Bible doesn't talk about that, Your standards are too high... I began to believe those words. It wasn't until many reflections back on those conversations and many talks with God that I realized how wrong those words were. If a guy comes along and tells me that I should lower my standards because they are too unrealistic, then that guy does not respect me. I am free to be the young woman that God has created me to be. I am not living for guys - I am living for God. I am not even living for my future husband... There may not even be one in store for me. If God blesses me with one, then great! And if not, then I know that He will have other great things in store for me.

God has placed such an excitement and a joy and a peace in my heart that I cannot explain or contain. HE is the greatest lover of the universe. HE should be my focus. HE is all that I will ever need. A marriage relationship is a reflection of the relationship between the Bride (God's people) and God Himself. The purpose of marriage is to reflect that relationship and to serve one other. My single years are a great gift to be used for His glory - not to seek out or be anxious about guys.

God is all that I need and I am free to be who He has made me to be! What a freeing and exciting thought with great possibilities behind it!

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
-Proverbs 4:23

1 comment:

Emily Barclay said...

Again wow. That was gripping. I lowered my standards for Rex when I knew I shouldn't have, but I could see my future with him, it wasn't want I really wanted, but it was good enough. I have a really hard time with not knowing where my life is going to go after this summer. That was a very good article, and I will be printing it for my binder! Thanks (again) for posting!