Well this morning I woke up at 5:00, did my Proverbs with so much joy, prayed for an hour... No, that's not really how my day went. I woke up around 9:00, did my Proverbs, did some stuff, did school... I got done my homework a little after 12:00 though, which is unusual for me. I didn't do any of my subjects that I'm behind in, though. I should have, but I didn't. I ate lunch, practiced piano, wrote some of the Transformed Newsletter, went to piano lessons, went and got my hair cut [it's not very different, though, but I'm glad I got it cut], then came home and ate dinner and did some random things... then I left again. I got home around 9:00 and got on here. So yeah, that was pretty much my day today. But of course it went much deeper than that.
Like for instance, the music thing -- I was getting my hair cut and I heard songs that my friends like and that I used to like. It's so hard to give up something for Christ, but I know it's worth it.
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.'"
Oh, and another thing... the whole "looks" thing. This world is so full of lies, and I have given in to those lies. I feel like I need to have the right figure, the right hair, the right face, the right clothes, etc. Why does the world feed me those lies? And why do I give in to them? I've been trying not to, but I need to be trying so, so much harder. But I've learnt in the women's Sunday School class I go to every Sunday morning that I need to TRAIN and then TRY. Because just "trying" isn't going to accomplish anything unless you have trained for it. Think about it; what if you were called to be in the Olympics and you had never in your life trained for what you were going to be doing there? You can't just go and "try" without first training - unless, of course, you want to look like a fool in front of the entire world. It works the same in your journey with Christ [even the fool part. If you tell people you are a Christian, but then you continue in your old sinful ways, you will appear to be a fool to those around you. And God will also call that foolish.] You must train to be Godly. You must train to be humble. You must train to be joyful. You must train to be more like Christ. If you just try, you will most likely fail. So how do you train? Well, that depends on the situation, but asking God for help is always an important part of it. In my situation with my looks, I must train by praying that God will help me in this situation, and then when I go out into the world, I must pray everytime I start to compare myself to someone else. Eventually, with God's help, I will overcome my struggle with this. I thought I was almost over it, but it doesn't seem like I am. I can't even believe I'm posting this on here for everyone to see... but I want to be honest. I don't want to hide anything.
So here's me... And even though I do NOT want to be vulnerable and open, I do want to be transparent. I want people to know who I truly am. And that is something that God is really helping me with.